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Dear, FA/HAES: Get out of my way!

Thursday, August 31, 2017

I have a sister. Twin. Identical. So, same genetics, same family background, etc.

I know she's heavier than me. How much so, I can't put an exact number on it. I take about a size 14 these days (best guess - my clothes are from the thrift shop). She's also very much in support of HAES/Fat Acceptance. And like any convert to an idology, she is not going to shut up about spreading the "good word." She does laps in the pool at her gym, does some walking, is on her feet for her schoolteacher job... Okay, fine. If that's the way she wants to roll, her business.

But for #@$$#%# sake, PLEASE get out of my way and stop telling me how I should be exercising, stop telling me I'm not eating enough, and enough with the know it all attitude telling me that I'm meant to be obese. Okay, so there's a very good chance I may have lipedema, like she does. It's genetic, it probably would explain the large caboose and trunk-like legs. There seems to be little in the way of actual medical documentation on the stuff, and even less in the way of treating the stuff (compression socks, anti-inflammatory diet). And it probably does mean the caboose and legs aren't going to shrink as much as they should. But it's still not enough reason for me to switch to lighter exercise, throw up my hands, and call myself "fat and fabulous." And no, please stop scolding me about how fat is a feminist issue and how it's patriarchal beauty standards or some #%#$ like that...

Note: I'm feminist in the sense of "equal work, equal pay" (and the wage gap issue is a thorny mess that only gets messier the more you look at the data), and the "yes, let's get men and women who want to work in non-traditional jobs all the encouragement they need to go there"(because I work IT, and frequently am the only chick on the floor). I am not really a fan of the "academic" variety as it seems more interested in telling women they're helpless and oppressed and then degrading, restricting, or killing men (see Andrea Dworkin - yikes!) than actually giving some direction on how to empower ourselves. The whole FA thing? Definitely follows the idea that you are helpless to change your circumstances and have to pull down others to make yourself look better.

It's not like I'm single, either. I'm hitched. To a restaurant/catering cook. Who can make some fabulously tasty comfort food. And who probably wouldn't mind a bit if I could eat more of what he makes and cut down my time at the gym to spend more time with him. Though watching his struggle with diabetes type 2 is worrying me, and his jokes about the "hot younger wife" might be hiding some insecurity.

So, it's pretty much trying to look outside the home for support. Found TOPS, and that helps. However, I'm a decade younger than the next youngest member, and none of them really go in for a lot of exercise. So I guess I'm having to solo the adipose monster. Fine. Just would like to know how to tell off the folks who seem so hellbent on stopping me.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know that. It gets a bit tedious to have to argue with my family members, or keep going to the gym alone, and sometimes feel a bit sad when I take small portions of DH's amazing cooking Part of the reason I fell for him was that he's great at what he does, and watching someone just do what they do best is sexy! I have the same stance towards HAES and FA that I do when some gender studies major wants to moan about the lack of women in the IT field; you are free to do as you like, but if a woman has made a decision to enter the IT field or decided that she's tired of being fat, then you can either help out or get the $@!# out of the way!

    1182 days ago
    Be true to yourself and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
    1182 days ago
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