100-249 SparkPoints 230

In the depths....,

Thursday, August 31, 2017

I am caught up in the depths of a horrible depression. I went through a tremendous binge last week. I have gained 2 pounds back of the 9 pounds I have lost in the past couple months. I feel bloated and embarrassed about my excess weight. I weigh 212 pounds. My goal was to get below 200 by September but I destroyed all chances of that happening. I am just so tired of fighting. Utterly defeated. But yet I know that I have to keep trying because if I don't I could get up to 300 pounds. I feel trapped. Darned if I do, darned if I don't. I feel so uncomfortable about myself I am even embarrassed to go to the gym. Every time I go I get stared at. The gym I go to has mostly people that are fit. Very few fat people there. I am going to see my doctor today to enquire about weight loss surgery.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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  • CWT123
    I know your problem well! If I slip more than just a little bit I spiral totally out of control. I try not to ever slip and if I do, I desperately jump to damage control immediately. If I don't act quickly I am into a much repeated binge and all is hopeless for a while. Then it is hard to get back on the program. Finding some really good motivation, even if it is fantasy, seems to help, at least in the short term.
    1071 days ago
    Keep going. Honesty, most people at the gym are too focused on their own workout to care about your weight. I feel you, though... I'm almost exactly the same weight. Ignore the shamers, including yourself! What would you say to a friend? Think that.
    1072 days ago
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