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Feeling Like My Life is on Hold

Monday, August 21, 2017

Well, I (finally) filed for divorce. 5 weeks ago. Part 1. The judge has to "okay" the reason for wanting divorce -- no irreconcilable differences HERE! Then once that process is completed (it can take up to 3-4 months, so I am told), part 2 -- the financial agreement.

Over here, in England, it is way different from the US, from what I know. God willing it goes through -- easily and quickly. While I am not a religious person, I find myself praying nonetheless.

We have agreed on the financial settlement. My solicitor (attorney) has to draw it up and we'll have to sign it -- it will be sent in once part 1 has gone through; you cannot submit it prior.

I will never see all the money I put into the business, let alone all the money I spent supoorting us.. and I (suppose I) can live with that. No choice really. But it is better than it could have been, and I am glad many more thousands are not being spent on legal fees.

I have my ticket to return the end of March (just over 7 months away). But it feels like it's an eternity away, ya know?

I have some things to sort out, but I am not sure it is 7 months' worth. I am getting antsy, not wanting to sit and wait, as my life goes by. At nearly 66 yrs old (my birthday is in December), I really don't want to "waste" time here, passing days and weeks and months, to start my new life.

It's hard to explain, I guess. The house rental agreement is thru the end of March. However, I am not sure if we can get out of it earlier by explaining the situation. The thought of laying out the money to pay utilities and all feels like a waste.

But I know I am not patient -- one of my many character flaws - and an understatement at best. Once the divorce is all over, I suppose I can ask the then ex-husband if he would like out of the house as well. We have agreed to split costs till the end of the lease, in fair proportions.

I will need to discuss this with the solicitor when she returns from holiday (vacation) next week.

But am I making a smart decision to aim to leave earlier? Should I wait it out, give myself more time? Not sure what for, as I cannot see the future.

More decisions. SIGH
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks for adding me as a friend. I'm going back and reading some of your earlier blogs. Our daughter is just going through a divorce, and it's interesting how different things are in England compared to Canada. I'm divorced as well, more than 30 years ago, and happily remarried for 15 years.

    I'm glad you are going to be able to move "back home", and be closer to your children and grandchildren.

    Congratulations for having the courage to get out of a bad marriage. I know it isn't easy... one quote from my ex-husband, which I will never forget, "if there are problems in this marriage, they're your problems, because I'm happy."

    Congratulations, too, on the weight loss. I'm really happy for you.

    Hugs, Gail
    821 days ago
    It's always tough to wait things out, but we've gotta do what we've gotta do :)
    Hang in there. One thing's for sure - time marches on, and your time will come.
    Situations change on a daily basis, best to take it one day at a time.
    Best wishes! Hope everything goes smoothly.
    876 days ago
    I think that maybe you fear losing your momentum, you think? By feeling like you need to keep moving along and making decisions and just getting it DONE. I can't really blame you there. Once you make a decision like that you are just ready to be done and over with it I would think.

    I would think that moving 2x would be huge pain in the bum....as long as you can deal with your current living situation until time to move back to the states? That could change week to week as the divorce progresses towards the final phase.

    As to living in OR....I think it would be helpful to identify what you want the most in your new town. Is smaller or bigger better? Public transit? Services? Medical care? Hobbies or activities you look for (local arts...music...theater...volunteer opportunities?) What are you looking for to fulfill YOU in the next best years of your life?

    879 days ago
    Good luck
    881 days ago
    Pray on it
    881 days ago
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