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Feeling unimpressed with myself

Monday, July 31, 2017

I should be thrilled with my progress. I'm 30 weeks into this new lifestyle. I have lost 40 lb. I have completed a 5K run and sprint triathlon, and am doing a 10K race this weekend. I can lift more weight than I ever have. Just did a giant closet purge since more than half of my clothes don't fit at all (I have a lot of drapey things that are just more drapey, so those still work). I am seeing more of a waist, more of a chin, thinner legs, etc, than I have in years. I should be happy.

But today I feel like it all is going so slowly, and I fear so much how easily I could slip back to those old ways. I have not been super good about tracking lately, and I know I have made a lot of allowances with my diet and workout plan that I shouldn't have. Sometimes I feel like I am not pushing myself enough, and other times I feel like it is all so hard.

One of the biggest issues I am having is that I am working so hard to lose weight that I have lost many times before. It's true that the last time I was this weight was before I had children, and I know that my body is so different now after 2 pregnancies and C-sections. I thought I'd feel better once I was pre-pregnancy weight, but now I am a full 20 lb below that and I still don't feel like I've made that much progress. I yo-yoed so much before then -- will it really stick this time??

I tell myself maybe I'll feel better once I am "overweight", which is less than 10 lb away, but I don't know if I will. I thought I'd feel more of a sense of accomplishment after my triathlon. Maybe I'll feel something more after my 10K. I don't know when it is all going to kick in. Right now it is just hard to feel happy about it all.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I read your post today,(9/24). I thought, "What an inspiration!", especially after I looked at your comments on your Spark page. Seven months and losing 50 lbs and running a triathalon? Amazing! You also look great! Keep up the good work. Glenn. PS: This is making me think, "What can I do?"
    1220 days ago
    Remember learning to read? It was one sound at a time, one word, then another. Did you ever forget how to read once you learned? No. You will always have the tools to lose weight, too. You've done a good job learning them. They will be there today, tomorrow, next month. If you read a book today or not, fine. If you track and exercise today or not, fine. But you will never forget. Congratulate yourself on the progress you've made and know you possess an arsenal of weapons against weight gain.
    1274 days ago
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    1275 days ago
    Slow and steady will get you there!
    1275 days ago
    It takes so long to accomplish these things I think we forget how far we have come. We continue to age, there is no stopping that. Gravity, children and time take what we once were. However l aim to be the best I can at this stage of life.
    1275 days ago
    Are you making it all about the number on the scale? How do you FEEL? I gave myself a talking to this weekend, cuz it feels like it will take FOREVER for me to get back to "just overweight" - but I feel so much BETTER, after just 30 lb! BE PROUD!
    1275 days ago
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