Is this rock bottom?
Thursday, July 27, 2017
I'm so sick of always being tired and always being in pain. I'm tired of wanting to go out and do fun things like go for a bike ride or a walk in the woods, but not being able to talk myself into doing it because I have no energy or I'm afraid I'll hurt even worse if I do it. I'm tired of discovering, when I do convince myself to go be active, that I was right... and the spending the next day or two physically recovering.
I am honestly at the point that I don't know if losing will even help. My arthritis gets worse every day and it's been so long since I felt well rested that I don't think it's possible anymore.
But maybe, just maybe, if I can make healthy food choices a habit and get moving a little every day, things will get a little better. Maybe the pain will ease just a bit, maybe I'll have more energy to do what I need to do, and maybe it will get easier to get out of bed and get things done.
I've spent so long consumed by depression and limited by my weight and arthritis that it's hard to imagine my life any other way. But that doesn't mean it can't be different, right?
At least, I hope it can be.