I Am Two People
Saturday, July 22, 2017
I was sitting outside enjoying the sunshine, just letting my mind wander when it dawned on me and how much I weigh. I thought to myself, "I weigh as much as two people". I have known this for some time, tis true but today it hit me a little bit different.
My mind wandered again to the phrase, two people. I thought, yes, the fat girl that wars with the skinny girl. The battle is real and it is on! The fat girl still has the messages in her mind that was instilled in her from a young age. You need to lose weight. Even as a young teen and a size 12 to 14, I was looked upon as "The Fat Girl". It seemed that my mom always had me on some diet or the other. Even to this day, she only sees me as her daughter that is fat and needs to lose weight.
I don't say this for an excuse as to why I am a large woman but I say is as the message that wars with the skinny girl dying to get out.
The skinny girl is replacing those old hurtful messages with messages like "You CAN do IT!!!" you can get healthy and build muscle and be the active person the skinny girl wants to be. Messages like, "Is that piece of cake or that cookie really going to taste fabulous and worth the extra calories and fat grams??"
This soon to be one person has even stopped eating something if it wasn't as tasty as I think it should be for the calories I will consume. THAT is HUGE to the fat girl who was always told to clean your plate before you can leave the table.
This skinny girl is fighting, she is picking and choosing her battles and is satisfied with the slow but steady progress of her war against the fat girl.
I do believe she is going to win!!