I feel defeated and also humbled today
Monday, July 10, 2017
My day started with the pool at the Y being too cold to have class. Which I later found out they got it warm enough for class. Sigh! Then I checked my blood sugar. It was 193! I was shocked. I've been eating good all week long and exercising. It's so discouraging when you try so hard AND you don't lose weight either. I felt defeated and ready to give up.
Then as I'm on SparkPeople, hoping for some motivation, I see a post from a member who wrote that her husband is dying of cancer. I have a childhood friend not doing well with cancer either. I also have a granddaughter, 3 yrs old, with Rett syndrome. It is a rare neurological disorder that mostly affects girls. She is non verbal, can hardly walk, wrings her hands constantly, and many other problems. She is and has been my inspiration the past 3 years to trying to get healthy so I can help take care of her. Barring a cure, she will never be able to live independently on her own and Rett girls usually don't live to be old.
All of this, and I'm pouting over an unexplained blood sugar spike and not losing weight!! How selfish of me! Although I realize that controlling my blood sugars as a diabetic is important, it certainly doesn't compare to what these people and many others are going through. I feel terrible. I'm in tears.
I want a hot fudge sundae and cry in my ice cream. I really don't know why I'm writing this. I guess to just rant or feel sorry for my self or for being so self absorbed! I just don't feel like a good person today.