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I feel defeated and also humbled today

Monday, July 10, 2017

My day started with the pool at the Y being too cold to have class. Which I later found out they got it warm enough for class. Sigh! Then I checked my blood sugar. It was 193! I was shocked. I've been eating good all week long and exercising. It's so discouraging when you try so hard AND you don't lose weight either. I felt defeated and ready to give up. Then as I'm on SparkPeople, hoping for some motivation, I see a post from a member who wrote that her husband is dying of cancer. I have a childhood friend not doing well with cancer either. I also have a granddaughter, 3 yrs old, with Rett syndrome. It is a rare neurological disorder that mostly affects girls. She is non verbal, can hardly walk, wrings her hands constantly, and many other problems. She is and has been my inspiration the past 3 years to trying to get healthy so I can help take care of her. Barring a cure, she will never be able to live independently on her own and Rett girls usually don't live to be old. All of this, and I'm pouting over an unexplained blood sugar spike and not losing weight!! How selfish of me! Although I realize that controlling my blood sugars as a diabetic is important, it certainly doesn't compare to what these people and many others are going through. I feel terrible. I'm in tears. I want a hot fudge sundae and cry in my ice cream. I really don't know why I'm writing this. I guess to just rant or feel sorry for my self or for being so self absorbed! I just don't feel like a good person today.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TWEDEE777
    Sometimes we just have to feel sorry for us also. Your not a bad person because you have a bad day. Keep your chin up!!
    833 days ago
  • LIZANDRASHAW
    It's OK if you feel pain for yourself. Never fall into the comparison trap. Have a pity party then get started again. My massage therapist uses herbs - gyneema and berberine. She says they really help in conjunction with diet and exercise.

    Your granddaughter is precious and beautiful. Give her a hug for me.
    833 days ago
  • BONNIEMCC488
    Other people's problems don't necessarily diminish our own. Sometimes I feel guilty and like my problems pale in comparison to others', BUT our feelings and situations matter too. Take some time to regroup, journal/watch some funny videos, and do what you can. emoticon
    834 days ago
  • MORTICIAADDAMS
    Try not to worry. You may have a mild infection somewhere. Things will even out. emoticon
    834 days ago
  • SPARKPEOPLE1951
    It shows your just being human! Now that you have it written down,give it to God.
    834 days ago
  • BBLUNDON
    oh dear .. my latest bloodwork showed NO improvement even tho i was being good and i went down into a spiral ..

    you are beautiful!

    b
    834 days ago
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