Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Strange how you think you've overcome issues just to have an unexpected incident send you right back to the dark place.
I've basically cut the person out of my life. They did eventually admit that they were wrong to hit me, saying that they "feel bad" about it without any kind of apology.
That's really all I need to know about them - they don't take responsibility for their actions. And for too long after the incident - I wasn't taking responsibility for myself. That's what I've been working on since the last blog.
I've spent time doing some work to address my feelings and it is helping. I've stopped watching the news because that just takes me to a bad place. I spent time looking for the things that bring me some joy - walking the dogs, yoga, one of my volunteer jobs, and working in the yard.
I bought some seeds and seedlings and I've been nurturing those, now I enjoy my flowers and herbs. Something about seeing the plants as I look out the back door just makes me happy to see how they've grown.
The yoga has been great for helping decrease my stress level and loosen my tight, aching joints. I chose to eliminate two of the volunteer jobs because I realized they brought more stress into my life. The volunteer job that means something to me is a weekly reprieve from my everyday life and I have a sense of peace when I finish my shift.
I'm in a much better place than I was a month ago. Now I'm ready to address the real truth about why I'm still not at my healthy place; emotionally and physically. I signed up for "The Big Fat 30 Day Challenge" on Zliving.com based on the show "The Big Fat Truth".
I'm realizing that as I go through life I am constantly changing in response to the changes in the world. As I'm changing I need to keep looking for my truth in those situations.
My biggest "Fat Truth" is that I let the words/judgments of others derail me and change the way I look at myself. I want to get back to my feeling of being athletic and strong.
Here I go...