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Bi-Polar Depression Sucks (Duh) - Day 19 of the Diva's Re-Spark

Monday, June 12, 2017

Well, I gained 1.5lbs in the last week and I already know why: I didn't track AT ALL. Between my bi-polar, crappy food and the weather which affects me more than I thought, it was not a good week eating wise. I notice that the more I track, the higher possibility I have to lose weight. It makes me take notice at what I'm eating and gives me a sense of control over at least something in my life. I need to keep going and not give up, but it's so hard when your brain is standing in the way.

I'm thinking of finding some local Zumba classes to take during the week which will give me something more to do besides eat and lay in bed with my cat. I loved Zumba when I did it religiously years ago and it definitely helped me out A LOT when it came to dance call at the auditions I'd go to. I'd pick up the choreography much faster which is always an extra help.

My show is going well and I really enjoy the time I spend with my castmates. They've truly wonderful people and we have the best laughs. After my last show which was emotionally draining, these people are a God send.

So, I know what to do and am going to do my best again this week. Let's hope my bi-polar won't stand in my way. I've been pretty emotional and angry the last few days. Lots of self-disgust. Such a sad state to find myself in.
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