Day 4-5 (Remainig positive)

It has only been a few days since I have started to try take responsibility for my weight. But it hasn't been easy. I suffer from depression. I have never sought out help for it except for one time when I was 15 and I begged my father to let me talk to someone. I was diagnosed with chronic depression but once the doctor recommended that I get on medications to control my depression my father stopped taking me.
Some days I find it hard to wake up and I don't have energy to do anything. I use chocolate and coffee to give me the extra kick to get me going. I use both of these to help me feel better. There is nothing more satisfying then to pop a cookie into my mouth or eat a spoon full of ice cream right from the container. I have found that I also eat more then I should when I am trying to calm my nerves or to make myself feel better.
The tracking my food is helping me stay alert of my choices but I don't know how else to deal with the depression. But then there are days that I am happy and have more then enough energy to do my day to day tasks. ( Today just happens to be one of my downers) I am just fortunate enough that after all these years my husband has learned to accept me and all my mood swings. I am having people over for dinner. I am going to cook and entertain I will walk on the treadmill and clear my mind before everyone gets here.