Feeling Very Down - Day 2 of the Diva's Re-Spark
Friday, May 26, 2017
As I expected, I went over my allowed calorie limit yesterday. I've been eating what I want, when I want and how much I want for the past year or so, so it makes sense that I would feel like I'm "starving" when I stopped at a certain number. It's going to take a good while for my brain and body to become used to having a more controlled sense of eating. I've eaten with complete abandon, not caring or worrying about my weight. For the first time in my life, I was comfortable with what I looked like. It was an amazing feeling to just get up, put on some lovely clothes and go about my day. Well, because of that wild and crazy eating, my size 22s are no longer fitting. NOT GOOD.
I guess my plan for now is to track EVERYTHING to get a sense of how many calories I'm actually eating in a day for a week. Once I get an idea, I'll try to remove 200 less calories every week until I get to where Spark thinks I should be eating. It'll take a while, but I feel like this is a lot more attainable for me. I feel like I can handle that at least.
My life is crazy right now. I'm in a musical that opens next weekend, in the process of finding a new apartment for me and my cat Reno, working full time, dealing with friend issues, dealing with depression/anxiety symptoms and now, trying to get my weight under control. My plate is extremely full, so I've got to take it easy on myself and not go back to the all or nothing that plagued me the first time around.
No starvation, no over exercise. After today, no more soda. I can do this.
I'm having a skirt made by my friend who is a seamster and I chose this fabric. My character is a sassy, quirky high school government teacher who loves the USA. THE SHOW MUST GO ON.
Until tomorrow, friends.