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Feeling Very Down - Day 2 of the Diva's Re-Spark

Friday, May 26, 2017

As I expected, I went over my allowed calorie limit yesterday. I've been eating what I want, when I want and how much I want for the past year or so, so it makes sense that I would feel like I'm "starving" when I stopped at a certain number. It's going to take a good while for my brain and body to become used to having a more controlled sense of eating. I've eaten with complete abandon, not caring or worrying about my weight. For the first time in my life, I was comfortable with what I looked like. It was an amazing feeling to just get up, put on some lovely clothes and go about my day. Well, because of that wild and crazy eating, my size 22s are no longer fitting. NOT GOOD.

I guess my plan for now is to track EVERYTHING to get a sense of how many calories I'm actually eating in a day for a week. Once I get an idea, I'll try to remove 200 less calories every week until I get to where Spark thinks I should be eating. It'll take a while, but I feel like this is a lot more attainable for me. I feel like I can handle that at least.

My life is crazy right now. I'm in a musical that opens next weekend, in the process of finding a new apartment for me and my cat Reno, working full time, dealing with friend issues, dealing with depression/anxiety symptoms and now, trying to get my weight under control. My plate is extremely full, so I've got to take it easy on myself and not go back to the all or nothing that plagued me the first time around.

No starvation, no over exercise. After today, no more soda. I can do this.

I'm having a skirt made by my friend who is a seamster and I chose this fabric. My character is a sassy, quirky high school government teacher who loves the USA. THE SHOW MUST GO ON.

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Until tomorrow, friends.
Miss B
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  • SUGAR0814
    Hope all gets better. Sounds like you have a plan. emoticon emoticon
    665 days ago
    You have a good plan. HUGS and take it a day-at-a-time. It is difficult living w/depression/anxiety.

    665 days ago
    You are doing the right thing. You are not going into denial. You are recognizing what changes need to be made. You are under a lot of stress, but you can do it!!! How cool that you are in a musical!!
    666 days ago
    Hey, at least you ARE TRACKING!

    Just a suggestion from a fellow Sparker for whom tracking just doesn't work.

    No Can Do!

    Instead I just fill my fridge with LOTS of veggies and quick & easy grab and go food like hard boiled eggs, sliced cheese, apples, baby carrots, celery, yogurt, cucumber slices, broccoli, baby spinach, natural almonds, cauliflower and with the veggies I give myself permission to mindlessly graze to my heart's content!

    PLUS I make sure there is NO KRYPTONITE available in my home...none of those trigger foods that I cannot control...for me that's just about any form of processed carbohydrate. NO CHOICE...it just ain't anywhere around me!

    We all find our own path. Consider tweaking yours to find something that can be managed and sustained.

    Keep the SPARK! :-)


    ps...bet your performances are such fun romps! I'm looking forward to catching a one-woman act tonight: The Sand Beneath The City http://www.pressconnects.com/story/
    666 days ago
    That's a good idea to lower your calories slowly so you don't feel like you are starving. When I went down in calories I was so worried I would feel like I was starving and I was almost shocked at how much less I was eating (sometimes I realized I had been eating FOUR times as much!) but after I actually ate the meal I prepared I didn't feel so hungry and I was satisfied. Sometimes we eat way more than we even feel like we can because we want to finish everything in front of us. That was my problem! I'm still adjusting to taking less food but a food scale has helped tons in eating a more appropriate amount.

    Good luck!
    666 days ago
    As they say in Showbiz, Break a leg.
    666 days ago
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