We all have those times when we just feel lost
Monday, May 22, 2017
I've been in a slump. A major one. One of those slumps that kind of keeps you down and doesn't give way for you to come up for air. The kind that feels a little like mild suffocation and all you can do is lay there and hope that it eventually will stop and you can catch your breath.
The worst of the worst kinds. The kind that when you actually do recover, you ask yourself how you made it through.
Now, I haven't been in one of these in a really long time. I would say I recall one happening around 2010 and one in about 2008. And, each time, I survive. I have my Brittany Spears moment and show up in life with a serious comeback and all feels great and wonderful. Until the floor drops out again.
Now, I don't know when these things happen. And honestly, I don't even recognize it happening when it does until one day I sit back and realize that I am absolutely have not been myself lately and that 'lately' has been pretty significant.
Life has been great lately, dont get me wrong. Lots of positive stressors in life: bought a house, bought a new car, dating my dream guy, playing roller derby again, finished my doctorate......
But then, I just don't feel like myself. I feel slightly out of body--like this is not the body I am used to having. I'm not as carefree or relaxed as I am used to be. The girl who LOVES being out in social situations, usually the life of any event, making friends left and right with all the random strangers, motivated to work out and eat healthy, setting goals and achieving them again and again, longing to explore and read and venture.....
That girl, she's not here right now. She's been on a bit of a sabbatical. Lately, going places becomes a chore and being social just exhausts me. My quest for adventure is riddled with concern over new bills and expenses. The body that was such a joy to transform has not been a priority because I just haven't 'felt like it.'
I'm not unhappy, I'm just not me. I just feel off. I just hit a wall. I'm just in a slump.
I know this is a phase, they come and they go, as they have before. That self-awareness and gentle reminder that I always manage to come back from these slumps helps get through some of the tougher days.
For any of you who are struggling lately, this ones for you. We may not feel like ourselves today but even when moods change, you are still you. Your heart and your personality don't!!!!!
peace and love and happier blogs to come!