I Have a "Relationship" With Food? - WTH?
Saturday, May 06, 2017
Many times I have heard, read and even thought about "having a relationship with food." But recently I began to really think about what that means - because I DO. WTH? Why in the world would anyone have a "relationship" with food? Let's consider this further.
Definition of relationship
1: the state of being related or interrelated studied the relationship between the variables
2: the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship: such as
a : kinship
b : a specific instance or type of kinship
3 a : a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings had a good relationship with his family
b : a romantic or passionate attachment
OK. Sure I have a connection with food because I HAVE to. If I don't eat, I die. But there has to be more than that. I don't think kinship applies. Duh. There is definitely "a state of affairs" between me and food ALL THE TIME. That is certainly an issue - we are meeting way too much and for all the wrong reasons. So maybe - I'm in love with food?
What does it mean to be "in love"? Here's part of the definition:
a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties maternal love for a child (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers After all these years, they are still very much in love. (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests love for his old schoolmates
b : an assurance of affection give her my love
: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion "love of the sea"
a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration baseball was his first love
b (1) : a beloved person : darling —often used as a term of endearment (2) British —used as an informal term of address
I guess it could be something like that. I'm definitely "attached" but it's not "warm." I sometimes absolutely HATE food. I HATE that sometimes it is constantly on my mind. I HATE that I can't just abstain (like drug addicts or alcoholics) which would finally help me be free of the constant thoughts about food. I HATE that no matter what I do, food still seems to be a huge controlling factor in my life - "what am I going to eat today, how much do I get to/want to/have to eat today, if I eat that it will be bad, if I eat that it will be good, eat, eat, eat.....AAAGGHHH!
No - it's not being "in love." I think it's something else. Or a combination of something else's. I don't know - actually, it doesn't really frickin' matter. What matters is that with all the progress I've made, I STILL find myself planning what I eat around trying to eat the MOST amount I can (even if it's acceptable) of the MOST delicious thing I can (low carb, high protein) and I still want to eat it alone while watching TV or some other zone out.
SO - here's the plan. Today I'm having a dinner party for friends. I am already stressed about that (although doing much better about NOT stressing so I can just have fun). Tomorrow and this week (I'm at home), I am going to totally practice intuitive eating to the max. I am not going to allow myself to "plan out" food. I am going to eat when I am hungry. I am going to make sure I'm really hungry by staying hydrated and waiting 20 minutes to be sure. I am going to go to the kitchen at that time and get a truly reasonable, measured portion of the healthiest option I can find (not something that sounds or feel comforting). I will sit down at the table and eat without distraction. I will stop when I feel full - no matter what, no matter if I can "make" myself eat more, no matter if I have the calories or not. FOOD IS FUEL. I'm going to treat it that way so that there is no more of this relationship bull snarky going on. Yes, I know it's going to take time. I got time.
I GOT THIS.