Sunday, April 30, 2017
Health issues are a constant obstacle, but once my autoimmune disorder was diagnosed and I started treatment, my quality of life dramatically improved. In fact, I felt well enough to start looking for more regular employment. I even decided to apply for my dream job, teaching computer science full time at a community college. Wonder of wonders I got the job, but then had to move really fast, like, we had to be in the new city less than 90 days after I accepted the job. That was last year. This Saturday (May 6) marks the end of my first 9 months in a new city, the end of my first year teaching at this school. I love this town, I love my job. But the move has had some bad side effects.
Going from consulting (working as I was able) to working every day, either on campus or from home, has been a big shift. I'm not spending 90% of my time at home now. I am really thankful that I've gotten strong enough to handle this job, but this move has been a big life change, and I've developed a lot of bad habits as a result. Instead of cooking, we eat out 3-4 times a week. We used to eat out once a week, on date night. Now we rarely eat at home, which is crazy. I'm supposed to follow a diabetic diet, but I've slowly been incorporating crap into my diet because crap is the only option when you haven't thought ahead and packed a lunch and snacks. New job + new city + finishing my dissertation (which I successfully defended in March) + missing my family + trying to meet new people when I am introvert who would rather be alone…
All this to say that I'm now at the heaviest weight of my life: 267 lbs. That’s a 40-lb. gain on my lowest weight, which I attained 1.5 years ago. I've gained at least 15 lbs. of that difference in the last 9 months.
I'm heavier, which means I hurt more. My soul is happy, but my joints and digestion are miserable. And I'm not sure how I feel about the person I see in the mirror.
I need to get my act together. I need to take better care of myself. But I can't do it alone. I'm going to need motivation and the occasional kick in the butt. I'm going to need hugs and reminders this this isn't going to be easy, and that an extra cookie doesn't derail the whole week and is not a reason to give up.
So I'm back on SparkPeople. And I'm hoping that this time I will have the strength to stick with this.