LINDA!
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Sunday, April 09, 2017



Today I was complimented at church. A woman saw me and said "oh, you are really losing weight. You look so great - you are getting so skinny." It was a very nice compliment. She was sitting in the pew behind me. I felt so happy that I was making progress.

My husband did not hear the comment because he was speaking to another person. After church, I told him what she said. I was hurt when he made a sarcastic remark, along with a snotty look on his face (if you are married you know when your husband i being a smart___ with a comment.) He said you are not getting skinny. You may have lost some weight but not that much. Wow! Why do those closest to us seem to be the ones that are often not supportive?????

Yes, when we married 33 years ago I weight 30 pounds less than I do now. I was thin. After giving birth, taking meds for diseases, my weight is not the same as then. But I exercise everyday and try to eat well.

Tell me, have you had this happen to you? How did you react?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 2BDYNAMIC
    So sorry this happened to you ...... that is very hurtful. Well, I would take the compliment
    from the lady at church and know you are making a difference with all your hard work.
    (I know I am reading this long after you posted but hope things Are better now.}

    433 days ago
  • SUNSHINE5268
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    445 days ago
  • AALLEY2
    So sorry he hurt you with his words!!
    My son once asked me if I had cancer because I was getting thinner. My DH has been nothing but supportive. I hope you gave your DH some medicine. emoticon You are doing an amazing job! emoticon
    445 days ago
  • INFLATED
    My daughter and my son's fiancee took me shopping and bought a new wardrobe for me, they split the cost of it. I tried on everything and modeled my new clothes for my husband. He didn't bother to look and my son's fiancee chewed him out for it.

    You have not let your health stop you and you are an encouragement to me and to others. I was upset with my doctor because I had not lost weight and he said that I had. I had the kidney stone in January and he just now decides I need to be taking medicine for it? He sits and looks at his computer while I am in the examination room. He had ordered labs in February and didn't realize it. I am looking for a new doctor.

    I would listen to the woman at your church. My husband tries to sabotage me by making me feel bad about myself and bringing in food that he knows is very tempting to me.
    447 days ago
  • KALIGIRL
    Bummer - remember the compliment - that's what you 'really' look like!
    461 days ago
  • LIFECHANGZ
    emoticon yep.. it was (step)dad who said, 'why bother? you never do?'

    it's like really?

    after utter shock... I came back a few mins later and asked... do you really want me to fail?

    he stuttered, well no... uh... sometimes smart____s don't think about what they are really saying to us...
    464 days ago
  • LIS193
    Great compliment from the lady in church, sorry your DH's comment put a damper on it. Focus on the positive and bask in the compliment. People closest to us, who see us every day don't notice change as much..
    emoticon
    464 days ago
  • KADULAC
    I'm sorry your husband isn't supportive. I hope more people notice like tha woman at church.
    464 days ago
  • BLUEJAY1969
    I agree with everyone who said to listen to the woman at church and ignore your negative Nelson of a hubby! There could be many reasons for him to be snotty though I think I might sit and have a talk with him about it if it keeps happening! There is no reason for another person to be that rude, especially since he is supposed to love you in all circumstances --- richer, poorer in sickness and health..... and so on!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    464 days ago
  • MPOTTER22
    Focus on what that person said to you in Church. Savor in it. You have done great!
    464 days ago
  • DIVAGLOW
    I know it may be hard, but focus on the positive and not the negative. You're working hard on your weight loss and people are noticing. That is wonderful, focus on that. emoticon
    465 days ago
  • _LINDA
    Oh Linda! Listen to the woman. They will be honest. Men wouldn't know weight loss if it hit them upside of the head. After all they probably think they look as good as they did in school. Except the spare tire won't fit into the old school jacket. You married this guy because he is your soul mate, not necessarily smart..
    There are times that I am so glad I never got married or tied down. Honestly!
    Your Spark friends know you are doing amazing and are amazing!!
    You got this!!
    465 days ago
  • GODS-PRINCESS
    emoticon What a sweet thing that women said, I've never been married...Wow!
    465 days ago
  • SUECHAN
    This happened to me before as well, but the comment was from my mom. At the time, I was very hurt, but I have since discovered that folks who are insecure about themselves will make snide comments in an effort to make them feel better. Let it go, and take pride in the fact that you not only have lost weight, you look (and feel) marvelous!
    465 days ago
  • WALLAHALLA
    Wow. I would be ecstatic if I was within 30 pounds of my wedding weight. My hubby is a quiet man. Having a desk job, he has put on a lot of weight too. I would be crushed if he made mention of mine. At the same time, I can't remember the last time he complimented anything about the way I look. I would just ignore what he said, and focus on the compliment. He may be insensitive at times, but he obviously has 33+ years of love in his heart for you. I'll take love over a compliment any day.
    465 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Honestly, many men are just clueless as to the power of words. They just don't even think about it.
    465 days ago
  • RKOTTEK
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    465 days ago
  • AUNA_VISTA
    It may be a misunderstanding. In my family, the word skinny has always been a bad word, used to describe someone who wasn't eating enough. You might have had the very same conversation with me. And I would have meant that you aren't too skinny, that you're eating healthy enough and aren't anorexic-looking at all. I always hated being called skinny, my grandma used to call me this all the time, and say how worried she was about me. On the other hand, your husband might have been annoyed with the whole thing, not because he thinks skinny is bad, but because he equates it with done and doesn't want you to quit trying to lose weight and be healthier. Maybe he's worried about that, because he doesn't want to lose you.

    But you may be right about the whole thing, and he may not be the person to share compliments with! I think it's great that other people are noticing your progress. You should be proud!

    emoticon emoticon
    465 days ago
  • IRISHMUM3
    Wow. My head says to just take his words without hurt. My heart and head say to be hurt, but move on. You ARE doing a great job. You ARE looking great. Take those lovely compliments from others and use them to keep you going.
    465 days ago
  • LUVS2BIKE101
    Love him anyway. Forgive and let go. Keep working hard at reaching your goals. Your life is a gift. Continue to take the best care of it.
    emoticon
    465 days ago
  • FOCUSONME57
    I am fairly certain your husband's appearance has changed over the years as well. As we age our bodies are different and you deserve the compliment from that lady. In her eyes you are getting skinny....and I do think sometimes the people we live with and see us everyday don't notice the change as readily as someone who only sees you once a week.

    I was married for over 40 years to an insensitive person,it hurts, and then you have to love yourself enough to not let it bug you. Easier said than done sometimes.

    emoticon emoticon
    465 days ago
  • SHERRY666
    I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT LINDA............ IT IS MOST TIMES THE ONES WE ARE CLOSEST TOO THAT JUST DON'T HAVE NICE REMARKS SOME TIMES........I THINK IT WAS VERY UNFAIR THAT YOUR DH SAID THIS TO YOU........... IF ANYTHING YOU WOULD WANT TO HEAR HOW YES HE AGREES AND YOU LOOK AMAZING......... WHICH YOU DO BY THE WAY....... JUST KNOW YOU ARE DOING ALL THE RIGHT THINGS AND NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS SAY MOST TIMES IT'S BECAUSE THEIR JEALOUS.......
    465 days ago
  • no profile photo TOMECAT
    Wow! Well I have not yet experienced this because I am just starting my weightloss journey. But I just wanted to say that you should keep your head up! Maybe you're husband said that because he wishes he had the motivation and progress you're having!
    465 days ago
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