Fell off the grid for a while...
Monday, April 03, 2017
I forgot to blog last week! It was crazy busy at the shop, which is a very good thing, I just don't get anything done.
The DietBet I am part of is over in three days. I haven't been on the scale but I can tell it isn't good. I fell off the wagon again this weekend, I went out with a friend both Friday and Saturday night and drank too much. I woke up at 630 yesterday and finished off my box of wine. I just wanted to stay drunk all day long but I didn't have another drop. I need to figure out a better way to deal with my feelings.
I've blogged about my relationship with my husband before. We had made plans to go out for supper on Friday night, but when I sent him a text on Friday morning, he had decided to travel out of town with some friends and wasn't going to make it back in time for supper with me. I lost it and said some really awful things I should not have said. I tried to apologize last night to him but he refuses to talk to me. It's funny how he does something wrong, I'm not allowed to be hurt or upset by it. It gets projected back onto me and he makes me out to be the crazy person. He's a narcissist. He accused me of trying to control him when I asked him what was so important that he just HAD to leave town, forget about our supper date and didn't even bother to tell me! He told me he wanted me to release my mental health records to his doctor to prove how crazy I really am. I told him I would and that we could both have the marriage counselor we saw release her records and the psychiatrist we both saw to release our records. Then his doctor can get a real true picture of what is really going on. I have absolutely nothing to hide. I'm just a b***h who refuses to put up with his crap.
What does this have to do with my weight loss? I'm not sure. I just know that I stress eat too much and I've been drinking way more than I ever have or that I should be drinking. That can't help any, it doesn't help with my mental being either. I just want my family back under one roof but deep down inside I know it's not going to happen. He's got too many issues for it to ever work. I just need to learn how to let go.