I was checking for inspirational quotes and I came across "Breathe"! I remember I would always use this saying and it seems I need to go back to it because I feel that I am overwhelmed and not breathing! I can honestly say that I am feeling lost and do not know where to go!
Over the last fewer years I have taken over so many responsibilities that I feel I am failing myself and therefore I can't help everyone the way I should.
I have been my mom's caretaker for quite sometime and I love her and will continue to do this until she is gone. I have hired someone to check on her when I can't and she has been so helpful but I still feel that I am neglecting her.
My in-laws have also been placed in a nursing but 5 hours from us and as much as we want to be there for them we can only go once a month
Then you have my house which is falling apart. I have so much clutter all around me that I can't stand it. On top of this when I do have a few moments of free time (rarely) I have no energy. I have thyroid problems which has my weight at its heaviest and this is making me more depressed. I have had some kind of cold, sore throat, etc. going on since November. I get better for a few days and then back again. Right now I have no voice and I am coughing my lungs out!
Then on top of that I had a stiff neck for a whole week! Give me a break!
Oh! Work is not any easier. Although this is the one place that with my students I can laugh and forget my worries. However, there are other things going on that I just wish I could leave and stay home but I can't.
I need to write this down because I feel I have been carrying all this in my mind and I am feeling overwhelmed.
However, I do have a supporting husband and my oldest son is finishing his master's degree in May and my youngest, who has also had his share of health issues, will hopefully graduate college by the end of this year. So yes I am very lucky in that respect!!
However, there is still that part of me that feels like crying and throwing in the towel. Maybe now after seeing this in print I can dust myself up and look at things differently.
So as I said at the beginning I will start to "Breathe" and try to take control!