Back in action!
Monday, March 06, 2017
I haven't posted a blog in quite a while but I have been popping on Spark a few times a week just to read articles and stuff to stay motivated. Hope everyone is doing well!
After gaining back 64 of the 92 pounds lost I felt really ashamed of myself and depressed. Well, I felt depressed when I was regaining all of that, but it didn't help any. I was so close to being under 200 pounds for the first time since I was a child and I just sabotaged myself. Subconsciously I think I was scared of the unknown- what if meeting my goal weight didn't change my life the way I always imagined? What would I do then? Would I be a hopeless case? Was I already?
I was in a terrible funk and slowly crawled my way out of it. I started replacing the mean and negative things I was telling myself with loving words and assurance, and I prayed for the strength and wisdom to actually believe them. I wanted to believe in them the way I believed in the encouraging words I gave to others losing weight. It took a while but my feelings started to shift and I was able to form a new weight loss plan and have been sticking to it since New Year.
I didn't recover from my funk all alone, though. My parents are always supportive of me losing weight because they of course want me healthy and happy. And last summer I started a relationship with a wonderful man named Greg after 4 years of friendship, and he is also on a weight loss journey. Like me, he's lost and regained, but we've been supporting each other and seeing progress. We stopped eating out so much and instead make healthy dinners together at his house. We also have started to go to the gym together! I hadn't stepped foot in my gym in two years and it felt so nice going back. We're looking forward to the nice spring weather and longer daylight hours so we can do more outside.
Here is a pic of us, if you're curious. lol
So yeah. I'm just taking things a week at a time. I watch my calories and cut out the night time eating. That's been a struggle but I've been good and feel proud of myself. I started drinking Shakeology for lunch and really am enjoying it, even though it costs a bit more than I like. But oh well, it's just a tool to use while I work on my relationship with food, and I am confident by the time I phase them out that I will not have to worry about the regain folks face coming off a program.
So far I've lost 11 pounds and am really happy with that number. About 5 pounds a month works for me currently. As I get stronger and start adding strength training to my routine more will burn off, so I am looking forward to that! I can't wait until I am back to my lowest so I can set my eyes on that 200 pound mark.
Anyways, I'd like to thank you if you read this far. It means a lot! I'm going to go make my shake and finish folding some laundry. Have a great evening!