Sunday, March 05, 2017
So, for the 3rd week in a row, I have gained weight. Though I have been consistent with movement, my food has been less than on-point. Several happy hours, dinners out and an employee party found me undoing all of the progress I made in February and then some.
This morning, I'm working REALLY hard on reminding myself that weight is only one measurement of progress. Since I started slowly moving again in November, and then consistently moving in January, I've lost a pant size. Yesterday, someone commented that they could tell I had lost weight. I started to say, "Well it's only a couple pounds" but I stopped myself and simply said thanks. It's happening... just not at the pace I am used to or feel like is acceptable.
And that's another thing... feeling like this slow, or lose-and-gain pattern, isn't acceptable... I have to again challenge myself and ask if this is a kinder, more sustainable way than the ways I've utilized previously. Of course, it is. It's just insanely frustrating. And insanely slow.
I could go on and on. I'm going to consciously choose to stop.
I talked to my ED therapist last week about feeling like I need to start tracking my food again. I've been consistently writing down what I've eaten for a couple months, but I haven't been dealing with portions... I spent my energy making sure I was eating consistently instead. However, even with movement, I'm not making the weight-driven progress I want to make so I am going to try writing down my food this week and take an inside-look at nutrition again.
It's been a challenge to not lose steam and just give up. It's an active choice to keep trying.
Keep trying people.