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Setting a fire

Saturday, March 04, 2017

I read Annieonli's blog today, titled "Tending the Fire"

So awesome. THANK YOU!

The metaphors are so rich and right on.

I gained weight while away on a trip. In fact, I ate my way through that trip. Sad to say. Sad to live it, too. No oxygen? Would that be the fire metaphor?

Three years away from sweet "home" Chicago. And it isn't Home anymore. I did not intend that. But that is where I am. It will always be home. My mom will always be home. My friends still love me.... we stay connected by what used to be email.... but is now like f'ing morse code.... TEXTing is the new parade wave/sos/signal fire?

Riffing? Once again... my style is sporadic/juxtaposition.
I joined a writing group on my return to Monterey.
I am sooooo lucky to be having this time in California. I'm in a lovely spot.

And I am building my fire wrong. Not burning well.
That's why I'm not appreciating things in proportion?
I don't know how much to focus on weight loss.

The last time I stayed on track and let go of a lot of poundage.... I was uni-focused. My days revolved around redundant habits.... and I tuned out all other aspirations.... I numbed with a lot of HGTV and Cooking Channel between workouts and meals. Not a pretty picture hindsight. Throw in that I was sick and on medications that had me feeling horrible for 2 years.

I've not found the discipline again. It's been 4 years of looking for the discipline to get to "goal weight".

For me this in not an arbitrary number. It has to do with the feeling that my frame is still carrying wet laundry with every gesture, every move. I want to know what it feels like to be a body free of the wet laundry. Really. I do.

How much?
What's fire got to do with it?

Wetness? Fire?

No family. No focus. No career. No focus.
I do best when I'm "helping others". -- typical or not it's my story.

I love to set fires in others.
I tend to set my own with TOO MUCH PAPER
I flare up and die too fast when I start things.

Maybe I am looking for the snap crackle tolerance. Slow and steady wins the race.

(This was for sure random stream of consciousness again. I hope the writing workshop may help me slow down and write more focused in future. Same problems -- a Fibonacci sequence).

Take what you like and leave the rest.
It's good for me to do these things. Write. Connect to something.
Will do better.
Will do better.

Subjects for Future
Hunter Gatherer
Photo books - Lightroom
CA locations
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yes, I agree her blog was very effective. Hope it sparks and motivates you in the right direction!
    746 days ago
    Hey P - I'm glad I sparked the thoughts in you...balance is what you enjoy, love, small changes to start and stay..it feeds heart - soul - body. Writing helps the process and being open to change is a big one too...which you have done in many ways of knowing you all these years. Simplify. Do one thing at a time to build your log cabin into the structure that will hold your fire the longest. emoticon
    748 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/4/2017 7:17:08 PM
    749 days ago
    749 days ago
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