1BEARWIFE
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another Sunny Day in the Alternate Universe

Thursday, March 02, 2017

Today my DH woke up and told me "My wife died". I asked him to say it again, and he repeated it. So I told him I was sorry to hear that, and he thanked me.

Then an hour later, as I was getting ready to go to my Caregiver's Support Group, he told me to hurry home so we won't miss the movie.

Now I assure all of you, his wife (ME) is not dead, and we are not going to a movie.

I learned from the caregiver's group that it is probably time for me to call in Hospice.

I knew that was coming, and just trying to avoid it. It brings reality much more to the surface.

My denial system was trying to keep me convinced that we had plenty of time, but I do not believe that is true.

I just don't want to give him up yet. And I don't believe I ever will get to that point, knowing I don't have a choice in the matter.

It's hard to watch the love of my life failing more and more every day.

He has always been my hero, and now I must be his.

With prayers and love, I will be able to do the job.

Thanks for listening. It means a lot to me to have your support!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • RAYLINSTEPHENS
    It's never easy when the time comes to say goodbye. I believe it might help when you know you did all you could through this extremely trying time; for both of you.

    When people ask me what I will do when it's Ray's time - I say cry, cry a lot.

    Praying for you to find the strength needed for this time in Ted's life.

    love you,
    linda
    621 days ago
  • TRIPLETIGGER
    Prayers and love going out for you. I am glad that you have found support from people around you.
    622 days ago
  • SUEFROMRI
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    Sandy,
    I also don't have the words to express how much I wish I could make everything all better, so I am just going to give you BIG HUGS.

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    622 days ago
  • CHERIRIDDELL
    emoticon Sandy we are all here for you ,you have a very large group of supporters and yes admirers ,you are the embodiment of grace and courage .I am so sorry that things are going too quickly.You have a good heart and your husband is fortunate to have you.
    623 days ago
  • DBEAU57
    This is such a difficult time for you. I went through this time with my father-in-law back in December. Like you, I agreed with everything he said and did my best to comfort him. This is a time for you to show him your unconditional love, which I know from your post you are already doing this. Ask God to give you strength. I will be praying for you both.
    623 days ago
  • CHAR46SUE
    Sandy, I don't know what to say so I am just going to give you a BIG HUG emoticon
    623 days ago
  • LESLIELENORE
    emoticon
    623 days ago
  • EMMACORY
    Sandy,

    You are living your wedding vows "in sickness and in health" in a say you could never have imagined. Your DHQ is blessed to have you by his side. Your acceptance of the alternative universe is wise. I will keep both of you in my prayers. Peace and blessings, June emoticon
    623 days ago
  • DEBBY4576
    Yes, with prayers and love you can do this. ~sigh~
    623 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Sweetie, sending loads of hugs and prayers. It's a difficult decision to be sure. So sorry.

    It is so awful to watch this disease take our loved ones piece by piece, inch by inch, day by day. **SIGH**
    623 days ago
  • DAWNSUCCESS
    This is such a difficult time. Please know my heart is with you and we love you.
    623 days ago
  • MT-MOONCHASER
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    What a devastating decision to have to make. Once you've made the decision, please try to not second guess yourself. It is hard to do, but give it your best.

    emoticon
    623 days ago
  • DIANEDOESSMILES
    Hugs Sandy it's so hard,, one of the worse you'll go through. Unfortunately hon you also know the loss of a child. My heart goes out to you hon in so many different ways. To say "I am so sorry" seems kinda lame in a sense though it's sincere.

    I am glad you have the support group and other helps at home. Hon it's fine as no doubt the group has been telling each other to "take care of yourself you do NOT have be unbreakable." Sandy it's so much for you to to not stuff the emotions and I am not sure hon if you are doing in the group or other times.

    I have been reading with you the thngs through the many challenges since you realized something wasn't right, into the diagnosis and you are one heck of a person who has such love for her man,,,, that you have been able to have him with you at home not taking it personally on the things he says, does. A friend of mine became angry with her spouse. So angry. But, she's not exactly a "stable Mable" herself.

    We love you Sandy.and care very deeply.
    623 days ago
  • TOWHEE
    Sandy, it's always difficult to say "Good by" whether it is a parent, a spouse, a child, or a pet. I'm so glad you have support from the Care Givers group. They will help you with the transition.
    In the meantime know that you have support from many people whom you've never met in person.
    God be with both of you.

    Margaret

    623 days ago
  • STONE815
    emoticon and prayers. God will see you through this. You will always have my support.
    623 days ago
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