Trying to find the reigns

I have been lost, busy, stressed, and a bit out of control. I've gained some weight since the new year, weight that I can ill afford to see again. It's no mystery to put it in black and white- i see it in the mirror, I feel it when I go to put something on.

Here's what's been going on. I'm in the midst of just too much. There are normal things that happen this time of year which keep me hopping- and then the not normal stuff. The not normal stuff is the stuff I'm not dealing well with, and it's damaging my spirit but also my progress.

Some of you know that I'm elected. I'm a 2 term incumbent and I'm up for re-election again April 4. That's when we do our municipal elections. In some ways I am very confident. The other incumbent and I are running for our seats, and we have 2 challengers. Challenger one is REALLY loud but very ineffective and I'm not worried a bit about him getting enough traction to do any bit of damage. His neighbors hate him, and he's running primarily on a neighborhood issue that is actually the biggest issue our muni has faced in a long , long time. One issue candidates don't do it, especially one that can't get support where it's most logical. The second candidate is causing problems- big ones. He is part of a group that formed about three years ago to agitate about all sorts of things, some of which are important, some of which aren't. They don't much care about truth, they regularly accuse the elected officials of having secret meetings, they have a pretty good network and spread a lot of lies that create a lot of problems. It's gotten worse- he's now decided to do a public records request to dig into a period four years ago where a citizen didn't like some of our actions and decided to sue three of the elected officials (me being one of them) and the entire board. (just a tip- the more people you sue at the same time for the same thing the crazier you look). Anyway, after a long process, the charges got dismissed. We weren't even acquitted, the charges got dismissed. He didn't like that, so he refiled ,the charges got dismissed again with a strong written warning that these charges were as close to harassment as one would want to get and just accept these people did nothing wrong. So, for some reason, this candidate has decided that this is important to his campaign. It's REALLY stressful. He's REALLY dirty, and doesn't really have the capacity to understand much (I know, I've spent COUNTLESS hours trying to explain municipal finance to him and the lights are on but there is NO ONE HOME), it concerns me.

Some days my stress is off the charts. Most days I work REALLY hard to actively soothe myself. Thursday, for instance, my notice went off on my phone for yoga in 15 min. I said no, not going, I'm working on my campaign. Then I fought myself and said NO YOU ARE GOING TO YOGA. I was highly agitated for that morning, and yoga was not my best class, but truly, it brought me WAY DOWN from where i was to where the rest of the day was at least feasible.

There's no question that I've been eating my stress, anger and frustration. I'm trying hard to turn that bus around. I'm keeping lots of fresh veggies in the fridge and am trying to snack on those first when I feel I need to, knowing that if you're really hungry and don't just feel you need food to medicate then a veggie works! I'm trying to be much more aware of when I'm thinking I "NEED" something when in fact I just want it to make whatever go away. And by the way, it never does go away with food. Ever. No cupcake out there makes this crap go away.

I'm trying hard to get exercise. I have come really close to cancelling my trainer a few times lately. No, it's on my calendar and I'm going. This morning I had a really nice swim with the hubby. Yesterday I did some cardio with him in the afternoon. We've had some amazing weather (although we're back to winter) and I got some nice walks in. Hey, I need to be out campaigning, it's good exercise!

I'm trying. I've lost more than I've won, hence the gain since Christmas. But I'm winning more than if I didn't try. And I'm going to keep on trying to be more aware so I can keep on winning more and more.