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Its truly HARD

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

When you grow up living a not so active life and eating whatever you want, it becomes very difficult to change.

A couple years ago I joined a gym and the first year I did good. I went a few times every month. Would have loved it more if I was able to go at least 3 times a week but when you share a car and take care of someone its hard. I tried to make time for me so I got up at 430 in the morning and was at the gym from 5 to 620. It was fun getting up early to go do something good but it only happened that one morning. I found that when I got back, within a couple hours I was super sleepy and had no energy all day. Its also hard getting up at 430 when your bed time is around 11 and you would get woken up a few times through the night. At the time my grandma would get up in the middle of the night and play around in her room. She has dementia and right now she can barely walk by herself. This all happened in about a year. Its hard to focus on myself when all I can think about is her health.

Last year was when she started having trouble with walking. Since she was in bed almost all day she would sleep during the day and be up all night. Bed time was now midnight and I had to get up at 530 the next day to get her on the toilet, fix my aunt her lunch and wait for my cousin to drop off the girls. So last year was tough and full of a lot of lost sleep. I think I made it to the gym around 13 or 15 times. Its a good thing it only costs me $120 a year for the membership.

This year it really needs to change. It is almost March and I havent been to the gym yet. This has been due mainly to me being sick (I watch an "almost 4 year" and a 1 year old so... germs.) and being busy with house work. Me and my aunt made a promise that this house will actually start to look finished. We moved here April of 07 and then my grandma, with all her stuff, moved in over a year later. We have 2 rooms thats just full of stuff. So when it comes time to where I could go to the gym, Im just dead to the world. This Friday I plan to go to the gym. I really wanna go because our gym bought the properties on each side so its expanding. I really wanna see how its coming along.

We're working on getting to bed by 9 but it hasnt happened yet. One second its 630 then we blink and its 1030. Where the hell did the time go? We are trying to start having dinner at 5 and everyone get ready for bed by 8 so that all we have to do is help grandma with the bathroom by 8 so that we all can be in bed by 9. Sounds so simple so why cant we do this?

Changing how you eat is hard. I have always had large meals because I would only eat 2 or 3 times a day. I also grew up on fried, delicious,southern food. Along with quick processed foods. Outside of health class, I was never taught how to eat healthy. My mom would let me eat whatever I wanted. There was even a few times where I got to eat a sundae for breakfast. I am eating better now but still not the best. I REALLY need to work on portion control. My eyes are just to dang on big for my belly.

This year is going to be hard but I cant give up. There is so much on my plate and I cant let it scare me. Nothing comes easy. If you want something so bad then you have to fight!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    However you are able to do it definitely find the time for your self as none of us can continue to take care of others if we don't take care of ourselves...
    756 days ago
  • CLEAN18
    You certainly have your hands full. Gyms are nice but if you can't make it there then home can be an alternative. I've found the workout/mealprep/recipes on this site to be very helpful. Taking care of others is always stressful. Nurturing seems to be a gift of yours but don't forget to take care of yourself as well.
    756 days ago
  • EOWYN2424
    756 days ago
    Wow you really do have alot going on in your life. But try really hard to make time for yourself, you deserve it. Your heart and soul with thank you.
    756 days ago
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