MLAWLEY
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Scale madness, insanity.

Monday, February 20, 2017

I've come to the conclusion that my scales hate me, they haven't moved in about a month now. Even with me working out more and dieting harder they will not budge. Even though my clothes are fitting looser, it is so discouraging . And yes I know I go a little over board with my weight-ins but that just the way I am I actually own two sets one in the kitchen and one in the bathroom. And yes I know that sounds pathetic but I can't seem to make myself stop the madness. Being huge most of my life has cause this rollercoaster ride of self loathing and destruction for ever positive action I have a negative one so yeah I guess I'm in one of my depressive moods I want so badly to hit goal weight this year and my self talks of patience and time are not helping me at this time sorry if your reading this and it brings you down . Thats not what I wanted my blogs to be about I wanted to up lift and encourage anyone that read them because I know what it feels like to feel all alone that no one can understand the shame and pain that is your constant companion the minute your eyes open I have alienated family and friends because of my on self haltered even now I can't shake the voices that keep telling me that I never gonna be small enough that I never gonna be good enough. Here's hoping for a better March. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • D_LORELEI
    Thank you for an honest blog. Sometimes you just have to walk through the valleys for a while, before you can get back to the climb in the sun.

    It is very frustrating to be working this hard and not see the results that should be there. You are a strong woman. You will keep walking until you get to the other side.
    emoticon
    1620 days ago
  • BLUEEAGLEME
    It'll come....
    1620 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Hang in there. So you journal? That might help to get feelings out so you can begin to have space inside to love yourself.
    1620 days ago
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