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Beginning ... again

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Thursday, February 16, 2017

So, here I go again. Another weight loss journey. I have been down the road before - I lost all of the weight I needed (and wanted) to, and gained it all back (plus some). I didn't maintain the loss because I went back to my previous unhealthy approaches to food: overeating, turning to food for comfort, eating unhealthy foods way too frequently, and Coca-Cola was my go-to beverage morning until night.

Last month, I was at the highest weight I've ever been at (170 pounds). On my 5'2" frame, that was not ideal.

I didn't realize just how large I'd become until I saw a picture of myself at my younger son's Baptism. I knew I was buying a larger size dress for it -- but in my distorted view, it looked great when I looked in the mirror. That view changed when I saw the pictures, which unlike the mirror, didn't lie! I was huge! I saw rolls through the pretty delicate lace fabric, and my face was so bloated and disproportionate to my head. My joy over the occasion faded as I realized that I was deluding myself.

Right after that, I got blood work results from an annual exam: high cholesterol. Adding to the mix, the doctor also determined that I have degenerative arthritis in my neck, which is being aggravated by the additional weight. His recommendation (since I refuse to take statins) was improve my diet, and exercise (oh, and maybe detach that Coca-Cola iv!).

So, I begin again. I begin again so I can be proud of the pics I am in. I begin again so I can have an outside that matches my inside. I begin again so I will be around a long, long time, for my children, and future grandchildren. I begin again so I can move without my neck and shoulders hurting (and I don't have to spend money (that I need for other areas of life) on physical therapy).

The difference this time: I am not looking to diet. No, I am looking to change my lifestyle. Food won't be my comfort any longer. It won't be what I turn to when I've had a bad day, or a negative memory pops up. Food isn't going to be the crutch it's been for decades. Food and I are going to have a much healthier relationship.

I begin again ... but this time taking a different path ~ a path that will lead to the destination of a better, permanent (not temporary) way of living (and eating).
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