MADAMES
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Personal Care Home

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

The time had come...Tuesday February 7th would have been my parents' 70th wedding anniversary. On this date we moved my dad out of his home and into what is called a personal care home. He and 5 little ladies who all share various stages of dementia share a residence in a former single family home. There is staff onsite who manage the home, prepare the meals, do the laundry and care for the six clients.

My dad was becoming too much to handle for one on one care with a single caregiver. At times she couldn't manage him alone. Now our caregiver has the support of the onsite staff. Now we can empty the family home and sell it in order to continue to take care of my dad and his needs.

We didn't know how this change would affect him, but it has been well tolerated. We did move his favorite recliner and sofa into his new room. We also sent his trusted caregivers with him 24-7 for the first ten days.

We have all been to visit. My brother sent me a photo of my dad "making friends" with one of the other residents.


DH and I are beginning to relax a tiny bit after the intensive eldercare for these past 28 months. We believe that he is in a good, clean, safe environment. I actually had one good uninterrupted night of sleep this week!!! Hopefully the stress that the two of us have been under will begin to dissipate, and we will be able to enjoy some peace of mind.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SABLENESS
    That's a big adjustment for all of you. Wishing you the best.
    828 days ago
  • TYMBERWOLFE
    Hopefully your stress subsides and you are able to get good sleep. Sending good energy your way!
    871 days ago
  • JANETRIS
    Hi Evelyn. I hope your Dad is adjusting well to his new home. I know you made this difficult decision out of love for him. His new home sounds so nice and you did your best to keep his favorite things to make it more comfortable. You will now be able to visit him as a daughter rather than a tired caregiver. Hugs to you and your family....Jane
    1093 days ago
  • ALIHIKES
    Evelyn, thanks for your comments on my blog. And I am so glad you got your dad into a good place. My mom chose to go into a life care facility before she became too disabled; I am always grateful for the good care she received. They had an assisted living unit, nursing home, and dementia unit all on site; she could take her favorite items with her at each stage of her journey. And she made many close friends who came to visit her when she was bedridden for her final 3 years.
    1104 days ago
  • HICKOK-HALEY
    I'm so glad you sent your Dad's favorite chair and couch along. I read where if the patients are surrounded by familiar items, or a time period they grew up with, the patients will adjust to the move much better. Good for you. My FIL had the same disease. It is hard. emoticon
    1106 days ago
  • SABLENESS
    emoticon emoticon
    1107 days ago
  • DMILLER33
    These are the tough decisions we just aren't prepared to make. Sounds like a great arrangement. emoticon
    1107 days ago
  • CLAIREINPARIS
    This isn't an easy decision, I know it only too well. But I do hope your father will be happy there and well treated. It sounds like it is a similar place to where my mother is, although in my mother's case, there are about 12 patients in the Alzheimer's unit.
    I do hope as well that you can now relax a little, knowing your father is in good hands. Clearing the house and selling it won't be fun (I am not looking forward to that when it comes!), but sadly it has to be done... These caring costs are so high!
    emoticon
    1108 days ago
  • LUCKYDOGFARM
    I know it was a tough decision for you to make, but i am sure that as long as they are giving great care, that your Dad will do wonderfully. You do have to care for yourself, and that is mind and body and spirit. God didnt make us to be SuperWomen, just WonderfulWomen!

    Be Blessed and get some much needed rest. emoticon
    1108 days ago
  • IMAQUALITARIAN
    I can hear the relief in your voice. May you continue to rest up between visits and may your dear father continue to make friends. God Bless!
    1108 days ago
  • PATRICIA-CR
    The stress will slowly go down. It's a necessary relief! We are not super humans. I did the same with my mom with dementia too almost a year ago, after having her under my care for 11 years. What a positive change for both parts, hers and my entire family! So happy you took that step. emoticon
    1108 days ago
  • MARITIMER3
    It must have been a difficult decision to make, Evelyn, but it sounds as if you found a really good place for your father. I hope that you and your husband are able to take it a little bit easier, and perhaps get away a bit. You've done a wonderful job of making the best decisions for your father. I know it hasn't been easy.

    Hugs, Gail
    1108 days ago
  • CAPECODLIGHT
    It sounds like you have made wonderful arrangements for your dad. We did something similar with my mother-in-law. Although she had a form of dementia, I would say the last couple of years of her life were very happy.
    Take a well-deserved deep breath and know that your dad would be proud of you.
    1108 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    God bless and hope that this arrangement continues to work out. HUGS and blessings.
    1108 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    emoticon
    1108 days ago
  • RBCAN8V
    That is always a very difficult decision. Take care of yourself!
    1108 days ago
  • AOKDIET21
    Ok
    1108 days ago
  • MARITIMER3
    It must have been a difficult decision to make, Evelyn, but it sounds as if you found a really good place for your father. I hope that you and your husband are able to take it a little bit easier, and perhaps get away a bit. You've done a wonderful job of making the best decisions for your father. I know it hasn't been easy.

    Hugs, Gail
    1108 days ago
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