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Beck Refresh Day #37: Deal With Stress

Saturday, February 04, 2017

The first of my two weeks of travel have been less than successful. Hmmm, maybe I should have taken the time to read this chapter - it might have helped. I'm a little discouraged, so I went back and reread the last chapter - Believe It. I can do this, I do have skills. Did I use them all this week? No, but when I got off track, as I did a number of times, I was able to get back on track. I continued to plan my meals, I always ate sitting down, and I certainly enjoyed every bite. I was able to get a reasonable amount of exercise in, too. So I'm giving myself credit for the good things I did, and problem-solving on why I didn't fully stick to my plan. The biggest problem was that I allowed myself to get pretty stressed out over a number of things. I was at a conference, but I had to continue to keep up with my regular work. Just the sheer busy-ness was a little overwhelming. And sadly it turned out that my husband can't come down for the weekend after all, so I cancelled the pleasure portion of the trip to go back early. Right thing to do, but I was looking forward to the opportunity to relax. And also the news... It is really getting to me. So, with all of this - and this is where this chapter might have been helpful - I never took the time to stop and deal with the stress in a comprehensive way. And that's because I allowed my "shoulds" to get in the way. Mainly, I should always meet the expectations of my colleagues and go to every dinner and every event, rather than take the time I need to relax and de-stress. And as I was reminded, there are expectations. "You're coming to dinner, right? It'll be fun!" And I go and then inevitably end up eating and drinking more than planned, because I'm stressed and not centered. ... But not everyone does that, and the consequences are pretty minimal. When one friend and colleague skips the dinner and goes to yoga instead everyone says, "oh that's just the way she is," and laughs. So I need to remember that. And I wil have another chance next week, when I have another week of work travel. Next week's travel isn't a conference where there is a lot of focus on social events, but just hard work every day. Still tons of food and group meals, and while my hope is that it will be easier than the past week, the reality is that there will inevitably be stress and I will have opportunities to deal with it. So I will: Solve problems. If I am stressed out and I need to take time for myself, I will find a way to do that. If the amount of work begins to overwhelm - and it may - I will remind myself that I can only do what's possible. I'm not a miracle worker and there is only one of me. Deal with stress. Deep breaths. And I'm bringing my travel yoga mat. Watch my "shoulds" and remember that I don't have to respond to social pressure. And monitor for other shoulds. Well, that's my blog for the day. A little discouraged, but not giving up! I can do this, but I must remember to use my skills. Every day. So, today I am making a plan, and I will eat sitting down and enjoy every bite. I will exercise, and remind myself No Choice. I've read my Advantages card, my travel plan card and my Believe it card. I will deal with stress and hold myself accountable. Wishing all my Sparkling friends a health and happy Saturday!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hey Doll, Sorry I didn't get to this blog before now, but this may help you deal with stress:
    798 days ago
    Good luck while traveling. emoticon
    803 days ago
    Great insights and observations!

    Yes, there is only one of you, and you can only do that much.
    I love what you wrote about dinner invitations - it is up to you to decide what is better for you, fun of socializing at dinner or a silent night by yourself. For me it was enlightening when I realized I don't always have to say yes.
    2 years ago I had inspections, 16 days away from home in 4 weeks. I just read the BDS pink book a few weeks before that, and it helped me to decide I was not going to dine out every night, and accepted invitations only twice. Nobody complained. I did yoga, meditation and went to bed early instead. I made up for it by being kind and social during breakfasts, lunches, the working day - and the two dinners I actually joined. It was easy as I was well rested and calm.

    803 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/5/2017 4:51:18 AM
    Priorities, expectations and the desire to please others and myself have a way of colliding. Love Beck's statement. "It is reasonable to expect" We get to define the ending but it is very effective for me.

    You are important. Be sure you value taking good care of yourself.
    804 days ago
  • GABY1948
    Thanks for the reminders....I have been going through MUCH stress for two weeks now! emoticon
    804 days ago
    Yes, I am super-affected by the news and have severely limited it. Stresses me out.
    804 days ago
  • no profile photo ELRIDDICK
    Thanks for sharing
    804 days ago
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