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January 28

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Three years ago today, my sweet husband took his last breath as I held him in my arms. I have told people that the second year was the hardest, and it was. I believe the first year the spouse that is left is in such shock, and having to deal with all of the realities and duties of arranging the funeral/memorial, taking over all of the finances and responsibilities of the home, family, and then left, alone, to find their way in their remaining life. People go away after the second year.

So where does that leave the third year? For me, I hope that I will be able to discover the things that make me happy. Yes, the few days surrounding the anniversary of his death are emotional. One must tread lightly. Two days before was emotional for me, the day before and today I had very happy, fun functions planned so that I had good experience. And, I have a very few loving friends who remember, even now, the third year and send loving notes, gifts, words. Those are what gets me through.
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  • DS9KIE
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    666 days ago
  • GGMFAY
    Oh, how I can relate to much of your story. My DH, Bob died on the 10th of that same month. Moving a few months later was both a good and a bad decision. A lot of stress to add to my life in a few months. But I honestly wonder if I would have survived that first year if I had not done so. This community is very friendly. And I already knew my neighbor who lived 2 doors away from me.

    Before that we lived in a condo kept very private. Initially for the working class. Seemed fine for a couple but extra lonely for a widow.

    And now, together we will be using Dr. F's program. Please be my friend emoticon
    667 days ago
  • VTORIA3
    I am sorry for your loss, and hope with the passing of time, that your memories together with your DH will bring comfort rather than pain. Your DH has a place in your heart always.....what a blessing it was that you and he shared a part of your life together that was lovely and wonderful. May the days ahead be filled with moments that bring joy to your heart. emoticon
    674 days ago
  • DESIREE671
    Losing a much loved partner must be the hardest experience in life. People say things gradually get better and I hope this year will be emoticon like that for you.
    677 days ago
  • LOVELYSPIRIT16
    It must still be heard to lose to love of your life no matter what year you are in regarding his passing. My step dad is having a hard time right now and I am not sure where he is in the grieving process.. we are pretty close not super close but I know he loves me and my kiddos. My Mom passed away in July 16, 2016 this past summer of kidney failure as a result of her not working hard to try and control her diabetes and refusing the dialysis that would of helped her.. but she was in excruciating pain that we were not aware of until after her death. She never complained of pain at all I looked up what your body goes through as your kidneys are failing.. I can't even begin to imagine as I have enough chronic pain I don't want anymore pain for sure. Dennis ( my stepdad ) is a very good man. My mom was lucky to meet him he step up to taking care of her and her 4 kids when he married her. He had never been married before. He loved her and worshiped the ground she walked on. I know he misses her terribly now even though she was far from a nice person the last 2 years prior to her death.. we found out later it was the pain.. she took it all out on him. They say you do that to the one you love most as it is a safe place to vent they will continue to love you through everything. And he did/does.

    Keep your fond memories of the man you love... those memories will sustain you in years to come.. what a loving way to pass in your wife's arms. . so neat you were able to be with him in his final moments before passing from this life...((( HUGS )))
    679 days ago
  • HICKOK-HALEY
    That is tough. Especially since you are not that old. I do agree though, that keeping yourself busy helps. Friends are the best to get you through the harder days. I am so glad you decided to adopt Lucy! emoticon
    679 days ago
  • HELEN_BRU
    Been through the loss of a dh but know it is different for everyone. emoticon
    679 days ago
  • JANET552
    emoticon I imagine it will always be tough but you are making the best life you can now.
    679 days ago
  • SHERYLDS
    emoticon
    680 days ago
  • SANDSLIB
    I can only imagine how hard it must be. Thinking of you at this time. emoticon emoticon
    680 days ago
  • SKYDRAKE
    Sending a hug. I think having some fun things planned is a good idea. It doesn't diminish your love. Your husband would want you to be happy. Celebrate his life and your memories knowing you will be together again.
    emoticon
    680 days ago
  • PJPEGG
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    680 days ago
  • COUNTRYCAROL1
    I lost my husband going on 12 years. 3 years is still not a lot of time. You are not alone. I wanted to let you know there is a support group on Facebook called We Be Widowed. I didn't have it when my husband died, but hope it can help you.
    680 days ago
  • CINDY4JOY
    Glad you have some close friends who give you emotional support. Keep connected with them and with us here. Hugs and prayers for peace.
    680 days ago
  • KAMARO83
    It will always be hard, what changes is you find ways to better cope, morn, and carry them with you
    680 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Awww, HUGS to you. So sorry. It is tough to be sure.
    680 days ago
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