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Beck Refresh Day #34: Solve Problems

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Thanks to all for your kind thoughts and words in response to my blog about my husband’s son illness. There seems to be forward motion with treatment, so that is good news. Given the givens – illness, exes, etc., we are doing reasonably well.

And I am staying with my plan. I cooked a great dinner last night of maple glazed salmon, sweet potatoes and broccoli…. I love cooking in our new kitchen. Tomorrow my sons and younger son’s girlfriend are coming over for a goodbye dinner for older son, who is moving off to KC MO to be with his fiancé. It has been so good being close to him these past couple years here in Baltimore, after living in different cities for the ten years before. He came to appreciate his mother more than he had when he was younger… and I think he will miss having me nearby almost as much as I’ll miss him. Anyway, looking forward to a little splurge dinner tomorrow, with rib eye steak and roasted Brussel sprouts and grapes (strangely good, I had it in a restaurant recently) and wine for them but not for me. I will use my Beck skills and portion of most of the steak and enjoy the vegetables and salad and serve the wine, but not imbibe.

Not drinking alcohol this month has given me a great sense of confidence in my self control and I am sure has helped my success in weight loss – 3 pounds in 3 weeks! More than I expected… although I did have to buy a new scale – my old one started adding 7 pounds every time I weighed so it’s in the trash now! The new one is the updated version of the old one, measuring body fat, etc. But the measurement of the new scale seems to be in line with the fit of my clothes and my visual assessment, so I am feeling good about it.

Today Dr. Beck tells me that when I am stressed out or emotional, once I’ve calmed down enough, that looking for resolution to the problem that is causing the stress is an effective way to prevent emotional eating. Key to this is – once again – the 7 question technique that I used to respond to sabotaging thoughts. Working through these questions can stop me from drawing unreasonable conclusions, such as “this is too much for me to deal with, a glass of wine would really help me relax.” Instead, as I work my way through these questions, I come to the conclusion that there really isn’t anything I can do to change this particular situation, and the best thing I can do is simply be there for my husband for emotional support. Eating and drinking isn’t going to make anyone feel any better. If I need to relax, doing yoga, practicing meditation, going for a walk, listening to music or distracting myself by watching a movie I love are probably better ways to de-stress. Not always easy to remember in the moment but practice helps!

Thanks again for being there, Sparkfriends! Wishing you good health and progress towards your goals!
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