They Say a Picture is Worth a Thousands Words
Monday, January 23, 2017
Last Friday I think I had a thousand words for a picture of myself and not one of them was a nice word. I was captured at a Super Saturday event by the even photographer. I was excited to see that I had a picture of myself.....until I clicked on the link and this picture popped up on my computer screen!
It instantly pulled me into the depths of self hate. I looked at it and felt tears start to build up. I even sent it to my sister/BFF and said "is it bad that I look at this and see all my fat?" Of course her reply to me was that I was bad for only seeing the fat. She told me that I don't look like this in any picture that I post after my workouts and that I look great in them. Normally I would take that reply and move forward and bush off the ill feelings I had.....but not that day.
For some reason I just could not let it go. I worked myself up so much with self dislike that I could hardly eat and when I did it made my tummy so upset. I then used that as a reason not to get my lunchtime workout in. I told myself that I would workout that night, instead I let my husband take me out to dinner where I had two drinks, a burger and fries. Let's just say it really was NOT a proud moment for me!
By the time I went to bed I was totally sick to my stomach and could not even look at myself in the mirror! I even tossed and turned all night. Waking up on Saturday there was NO question what I would be doing that morning. I was going to the gym!! I needed to kick my own behind back on track. I was NOT going to continue down a road of self destruction and I was going to push hard at the gym. That is exactly what I did, and I was able to increase my weights yet again. I did all but one move with 12.5lb weights. By the time I was done I could feel every inch of my body on fire. I was a sweating machine!
So....back to the saying....A picture is worth a thousand words.....Yes, a picture is, but it is NOT worth letting it get you tore up inside to the point that you miss your workouts or eat badly. The picture is just a small capture of a period in your life. One second that is your past! I did not look at the picture as my past, but what I was like now. I did not take into consideration that I had lost many inches and pounds from that picture that was taken. I let it ruin a day I had to kick bum. So while it is worth words, it is NOT worth my emotions. It is NOT worth letting it tell me how I feel about the journey I am on.
I am BACK on track and BACK onto kicking butt. I will be using this picture as continued motivation to get me to my goals. This picture does NOT tell me who I am, it just shows me of how far I have come in less than a month to take back the control of my life!