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They Say a Picture is Worth a Thousands Words

Monday, January 23, 2017

Last Friday I think I had a thousand words for a picture of myself and not one of them was a nice word. I was captured at a Super Saturday event by the even photographer. I was excited to see that I had a picture of myself.....until I clicked on the link and this picture popped up on my computer screen!

It instantly pulled me into the depths of self hate. I looked at it and felt tears start to build up. I even sent it to my sister/BFF and said "is it bad that I look at this and see all my fat?" Of course her reply to me was that I was bad for only seeing the fat. She told me that I don't look like this in any picture that I post after my workouts and that I look great in them. Normally I would take that reply and move forward and bush off the ill feelings I had.....but not that day.

For some reason I just could not let it go. I worked myself up so much with self dislike that I could hardly eat and when I did it made my tummy so upset. I then used that as a reason not to get my lunchtime workout in. I told myself that I would workout that night, instead I let my husband take me out to dinner where I had two drinks, a burger and fries. Let's just say it really was NOT a proud moment for me!

By the time I went to bed I was totally sick to my stomach and could not even look at myself in the mirror! I even tossed and turned all night. Waking up on Saturday there was NO question what I would be doing that morning. I was going to the gym!! I needed to kick my own behind back on track. I was NOT going to continue down a road of self destruction and I was going to push hard at the gym. That is exactly what I did, and I was able to increase my weights yet again. I did all but one move with 12.5lb weights. By the time I was done I could feel every inch of my body on fire. I was a sweating machine!

So....back to the saying....A picture is worth a thousand words.....Yes, a picture is, but it is NOT worth letting it get you tore up inside to the point that you miss your workouts or eat badly. The picture is just a small capture of a period in your life. One second that is your past! I did not look at the picture as my past, but what I was like now. I did not take into consideration that I had lost many inches and pounds from that picture that was taken. I let it ruin a day I had to kick bum. So while it is worth words, it is NOT worth my emotions. It is NOT worth letting it tell me how I feel about the journey I am on.

I am BACK on track and BACK onto kicking butt. I will be using this picture as continued motivation to get me to my goals. This picture does NOT tell me who I am, it just shows me of how far I have come in less than a month to take back the control of my life!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You got this!
    784 days ago
    Nice to hear you are back on track and kickin' butt! You got this!
    787 days ago
    I can SO relate, my friend...
    I need to scan in (2) photos of mine - like you, I was HORRIFIED by a highly-anticipated event photo of me, taken last October... I was pretty darn proud of myself, knocking out a (slow) 5K, but 3.1 mi nonethless basically cold turkey.
    But then I saw the photos = sweaty fat old woman who doesn't appear to have made any progress whatsoever.
    I've been digging through old photos to make an album for my MIL - a very poignant one of our lil' family group (me, hubby, 5-yr-old son) which I probably also hated at the time, but now that I look at it, I hadn't lost my looks (yet).
    You haven't either - smooth glowing skin is something you take for granted, until you no longer have it!
    788 days ago
    That's my girl! You are and will continue to be my inspiration. Glad you were able to remember how far you have come. ;). Loveya
    788 days ago
    788 days ago
    I found your blogs today and I'm glad I did! I'm also going to turn 40 this year and I'd like to lose 40 by 40. My birthday is April 20th so I'm on a little more of a time crunch. If I don't lose all 40 that's fine, I'm going to do the best I can. I am heading into my fourth week and I'm down 6 pounds so far. 2 pounds per week is a healthy loss I think. Good luck to you!! We got this!!! emoticon
    788 days ago
    Your awesome! Best wishes.
    788 days ago
    You got this we can do it together
    788 days ago
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