CHANGINGHORSES
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A BIG leap of faith...believe in myself

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Friday, January 06, 2017

Several years of holding my weight loss have come and gone. I have been maintaining a 65-70 lb weight loss for almost 7 years now and it is time to finally time to do something drastic. I'm not talking about drastic as in climbing a high peak or running a marathon. No, I've done that and I'm full of confidence in my physical abilities these days.

What I'm talking about is on a way deeper emotional and mental level. Some of you may understand me, I needed to clear out the closets of years of "fat clothes" that no longer fit and have not fit in a long time. Why do I hold on to these clothes as though they are some kind of security blanket? Let's face it, there was no security in those 70 lbs and there is none in closets bursting at the hinges.

I was scared for a long time. Very scared. Finally I had a good talk with myself and realized
that I needed to take that leap of faith. I needed to finally accept who I have become in the past 7 years and believe in myself enough to know that I am never going back to that size or that girl.

I believe in the lifestyle changes that I have made. I believe in my toolbox of healthy living plans and ideas that have been proven by me to work. I believe in my constant monitoring of my health. I believe in my exercise and healthier eating. I believe in the people that I choose to associate with these days who are on the same healthy path.

I believe that I have come too far on this road to turn around and go back to my unhealthy ways. I have lived the change and felt the benefits and rewards in ways that I have never imagined. How could I ever believe that I would wear any of those clothes again?

No, I have more faith in myself now also, but sometimes I still on some emotional level have the insecurities. The fat insecure girl is still hiding in the shadows knowing that she will fit into those clothes again someday because she is a failure. (Sad but true) NO! Not today.

Today the brave and healthy spirit inside me is taking over again! If I can do what I have accomplished in the past 7 years, I can let of go of those clothes also. Actually kind of silly I guess, but I now have 10 bags of useless to me clothing that maybe someone else can appreciate. Donation box here I come.

I believe in me and all I have gained since choosing my health. Sparkpeople is on the top shelf of my tool box and there it will stay.

NEVER GOING BACK!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JOE14250
    Way to go! Hope all is still well!
    604 days ago
  • MBTEPP
    Bravo!!! I have happy tears bursting for you as I read. I sure do relate, even though my loss (or gain) was half yours.

    I am so happy for you, and Congrats on the Featured Blog! Well deserved.

    Happy New Year!
    909 days ago
  • no profile photo SEWRIGHT2
    You did the work , you reap the benefit! Excellent Job! You are my encouragement today... emoticon
    912 days ago
  • RASPBERRY56
    You got this! Keep it up!
    913 days ago
  • WBERRY57
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    913 days ago
  • MKCARTER130
    Get rid of the that old baggage for good!
    915 days ago
  • MARGIEB221
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    915 days ago
  • SHARON10002
    Seven years of maintaining is a HUGE accomplishment! Thanks for staying with SP and sharing yoursel, your trials, tribulations, tips, and success with the rest of us! Your accomplishment and weight loss gives inspiration and hope to many of us who are still struggling to reach our goals!
    916 days ago
  • HAYBURNER1969
    What a great blog post. Very inspiring! I hope you were able to give the clothes away. I am SURE you'll never need them again! :)
    916 days ago
  • WISHFULDREAMING
    emoticon
    916 days ago
  • DIANALAZZELL
    i also cleaned out my plus size wardrobe and it was a great feeling, but kind of sad because i had a fabulous wardrobe LOL good job, self confidence is hard to cultivate. Sparkers gain a little more every day we stick to the program and subscribe to the healthier lifestyle. Great job! emoticon
    917 days ago
  • NILLAPEPSI
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    917 days ago
  • PJPEGG
    I was just thinking something similar: I cannot lose weight successfully until I figure out who I want this thinner me to be. I want to be ready to be thinner and not holding on to my heavier self, expecting to see her in the mirror. I am embracing the foods, the movement, the new me.
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    918 days ago
  • TANYA168
    Amazing! What you have written resonates for many women and men who are thinking of weight loss and who have lost weight! Thank you!!!

    Woo Hoo!!!
    Tanya

    918 days ago
  • EDDYDVM
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    918 days ago
  • BARBPATRICK
    Seven years? Wow! I have just started my journey, but your testimony gives me such hope! Congrats!!

    918 days ago
  • MAREE1953
    Purging stuff I know longer use feels ALMOST as good as losing weight! In a way, it's much the same. Congratulations on "lightening your emotional load!"
    918 days ago
  • NGAWHETU
    Thanks to the world of social media, mental comparison has never been easier. Keep in mind that the majority of what you see on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and pretty well every other platform is a collection of each individual’s highlight reels. They all likely have just as many challenges, “ugly days,” and mundane tasks as you do, so stop putting your whole reality up against the filtered best that they have to offer.
    918 days ago
  • no profile photo OVERCOMER11
    Awesome! I would probably keep one to remind me what happens if I don't take care of myself.
    918 days ago
  • ROBBIEY
    emoticon I gave all my old clothes away New Year's Eve without even looking in the bins. No looking back.
    918 days ago
  • ROBBIEY
    emoticon I gave all my old clothes away New Year's Eve without even looking in the bins. No looking back.
    918 days ago
  • SNOW_LEOPARD_74
    Congratulations!
    918 days ago
  • MARTHA324
    Seven years of maintenance is a big emoticon emoticon emoticon
    So great that you are giving away your fat clothes. That is a real testament to you and your confidence.

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    918 days ago
  • ROOTIHAUSMAN
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    918 days ago
  • JUNETTA2002
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    918 days ago
  • GIZZY62
    What an inspiring, well written, emotional blog. Congratulations on your success with your weightloss, now you just have to keep working on you....maybe try some Yoga or meditation....
    I was a chubby child/teenager and haven't really struggled with my weight since my 20's but still see myself as fat....sad isn't it. I guess the one positive to that is I am always aware of what I eat and am very active.
    Congrats again, thanks for sharing with us!
    918 days ago
  • no profile photo CASS6631
    Good for you keep up the good work happy for you enjoy

    918 days ago
  • PHHHISC
    emoticon emoticon
    918 days ago
  • LIHAGEMAN
    7 years of maintenance is great! Congratulations! I enjoyed reading your blog and the comments of all those who are in maintenance. It gives me hope and the desire to keep on working toward my goals! I also emoticon like the idea that someone else will be able to use the clothes that you no longer need.
    918 days ago
  • MOM4HOCKEY
    What a beautiful blog...I'm so happy for you!!
    918 days ago
  • SMILEYNY18702
    I donated mines right when I got to my first goal weight. Doing so WILL prevent me from going back and better off control myself NOT to go back where I started. Good luck!
    918 days ago
  • PCAESAR3
    Congrats. That's inspiring and educational
    918 days ago
  • CHERYLHURT
    If we don't believe in ourselves who will?
    918 days ago
  • OLIVINE
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    918 days ago
  • NASFKAB
    congratulations for losing & maintaining for so long a real change of lifestyle very happy for you & to take the step of donating the old clothes enjoy the day!
    918 days ago
  • DAWNDMOORE40
    emoticon You should be so proud! I have never ran a marathon but I did manage a 5k once and I've never been to the top of a peak, but I am maintaining going on 6 years now! I have kept some of my not so skinning jeans and I guess it's a good thing I did because I have gained a little bit of that weight back. Sometimes the over confidence gets the best of a person and they think that they are invincible. That was me almost 2 years ago. I had reached my goal weight and then decided I didn't need to watch it as closely has I was. Boy was I wrong! However, when 2017 rolled around I decided to start paying close attention to what I eat again and for one week now I am proud of all the temptations that I have avoided but most of all I am proud I am myself and confident that this will be a great year! emoticon for sharing! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon and keep on doing it! It works when you work it!
    919 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/7/2017 10:26:15 PM
  • DOVESEYES
    Wonderful blog it is a bit scary getting rid of the fat clothes :), congrats on the maintenance and thanks for sharing your feelings :)
    919 days ago
  • MONTROSE28
    I've been exactly where you were - after a year of maintaining my goal weight I finally convinced myself that the now too-large items of clothing wouldn't be of any further use to me. One year of sticking with my Spark plan, one year of relatively even weight. I'd be okay, just because I'd donated those clothes did NOT mean that I was going to need them.

    To try to make myself believe the truth of that statement was, to me, harder than actually losing weight by eating healthy meals. I was shaking as I loaded the clothing into the car, drove to one of our local charity shops, opened the car door and carried in the filled bags. Once I'd finally handed everything over and talked with the volunteer cashier on duty that morning, I suddenly realised that the shaking, the feelings of insecurity, and the self-doubts were gone, and instead, I was feeling to finally accept that I'd actually managed to turn my life around and in the process had become much lighter, much healthier, much more energized, and best of all, much more self-confident.

    So long as I'm here Sparking each day, nothing is going to change - I'm not suddenly going to wake one morning, and have gained all the weight I'd lost. That, fellow Sparkers, is an amazing feeling.
    919 days ago
  • _LINDA
    emoticon emoticon
    You are the thin girl. Never again the fat girl. You are Awesomesauce!
    Enjoy freeing the mind and body from those fat clothes forever!!
    919 days ago
  • THOMS1
    Donation box here you come!!! Good Job! It took me awhile to purge myself of those clothes and after 8 or so years on spark I too have and use the tools given to me. I still track my nutrition and of course my exercise and I also weigh and measure my food morning, noon and evening. It is a habit and of course with my catholic upbringing I have a guilt complex. emoticon
    919 days ago
  • BLUEJAY1969
    emoticon On losing the weight and maintaining for SEVEN years!!! You go ahead donate those clothes my dear.... you've more than earned the right to the confidence you are showing today!! emoticon Job!
    919 days ago
  • CTYONIT
    Before you send them off take some pictures. Place your current jeans on top of your largest pair. Take a selfie of you wearing that large pair. Do the same for shirts, skirts etc. This helps me never to forget how far I have come.

    Congratulations on 7 years!

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    919 days ago
  • ELAINEB1972
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    919 days ago
  • GABY1948
    GREAT blog and I agree never going back!
    919 days ago
  • AALLEY2
    emoticon emoticon congrats! you are an inspiring lady! emoticon
    919 days ago
  • SUSIEMT
    What a wonderful blog! It took me about 5 years of being on spark to fully understand that I could trust myself to use the tools I have gained from Sparkpeople to lose weight and MAINTAIN the weight loss. I knew the first month I was on spark that I could and would lose the weight if I used the tools given me. I knew I would not regain what I had lost as long as I used the tools. For me I still have to weigh and measure my food. I still weigh everyday and keep track in my faithful notebook. Call me insecure but I know what works and the tools I have gotten from sparkpeople work. No one needs to be afraid once they understand and use the tools. But then again I have my diet and exercise buddy in the same house so that really has helped me!
    Woo Hoo you ChangingHorses! Great blog!
    919 days ago
  • DSJB9999
    emoticon emoticon on maintaining, you are an inspiration!
    919 days ago
  • MJREIMERS
    Give those clothes away!! You don't and never will wear them again. Your determination, education, and sparking will make sure of that! emoticon
    919 days ago
  • GOCALGAL
    AMAZING job of maintenance! emoticon for believing in yourself and giving those too big clothes a new home. emoticon
    919 days ago
  • SMALL_WORLD
    What a wonderful post!! Thank you.
    919 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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