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Sparked by the UnFriend!

Friday, January 06, 2017

Facebook has created a new social group: the "unfriends".

I was unfriended in the most ungracious way. A relative let me know that she was a very strong Christian, and that my opinions were, for all intents and purposes, wrong. Since I was vocal about not voting for the incoming president, she unfriended me. First, she publically humiliated me, and let family and friends know how offended she was by my words and actions. I really felt as though she was saying; "Shut up Jackie!"

After getting over the hurt and embarrassment, I am once again Sparked!
I'm motivated to continue to be myself and keep a positive attitude.
I am encouraged to be kind, respectful and gentle as I speak up.
I am SPARKED to be a strong and healthy person.
Remember, only those who do nothing and say nothing are not criticized.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Strong christian? That doesn't sound very christian-like to me. emoticon
    1014 days ago
    emoticon but better to speak your mind
    than to follow blindly. emoticon
    1014 days ago
  • TANYA168
    I am so sorry that you went through this. Just remember this is her issue and not yours. This means you don't own her words. We are all entitled to our opinion and that opinion should be respected regardless of whether it is a family or friend. You can agree to disagree. There is no need to take it personally or make it personal It has taken me a long time to figure it out and sometimes I still get a bit emotional. Your reaction to the situation was mature and appropriate.
    Have a wonderful day and enjoy the freedom of not taking on other people's emotions. Take care of your own.

    xoxoxo emoticon
    1014 days ago
    Proud of you for holding your own. There is that idea that we need to be ourselves, because everyone else is taken! As to your politics, you are not alone!
    1015 days ago
    So sorry to hear that, I try not to voice political opinions on Facebook or comment on others. If I disagree, I just move past the post to the next one. I did block a friend for awhile because her comments were so negative I couldn't handle even seeing them. It is sad when family does not respect your opinions but that seems to be the way of the world right now, unfortunately! Thinking of you and praying that you keep voicing your opinion and being who you are!!!!
    1015 days ago
  • no profile photo JSEATTLE
    Right On Jackie!! So sad when people use Christianity in a way God has not intended.
    1015 days ago
    Good for you for soldiering on!

    I am surprised that a 'Christian' would unfriend another fellow human. Certainly doesn't sound like a Christian attitude to me.
    1015 days ago
  • 2DAWN4
    Sad to hear that but you are wonderful. . Some people are so hard to understand. and she is the one with the problem.
    1015 days ago
    I love your blogs if anyone follows 1 Corinthians 13 it is you. You made the right choice let Him be your vindicator. Hugs for the pain of this.
    1015 days ago
    1015 days ago
    Funny how some expect their ideas should be the only one heard. These are people you cannot have a conversation with, they will not allow it. I no longer do FB, can't stand the attacks from my father.
    1015 days ago
    Isn't part of being a Christian is turning the other cheek? And treating others as you would want them to treat you? And what about Faith, Hope, and Charity?? Your relative sounds like a bully, not a Christian. Good for you for standing up for yourself!
    Spark On!!
    1016 days ago
    So what is so Christian about her preference in the 2016 national election? 1 Corinthians 13 is a home base for us when we know Christ. GOD first loved us, or we would not love at all. GOD enables us to do anything that is good. So continue to choose, as you are, to love and know that criticisms and even persecutions are going to continue to come...just as you say. emoticon Jackie!
    1016 days ago
    Anyone who would treat a family member or friend like that doesn't need to be in your life. My family is still mostly back on the east coast - in Florida & Georgia. I don't know how they voted and don't want to, I have enough trouble at work wanting to yell at people for being duped by the trumpster& parroting his ridiculous propaganda. (Oops, did I say that out loud?)
    1016 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1016 days ago
    emoticon So sorry that happened. Glad you will continue sparking. You have the right attitude.
    1016 days ago
    Loved the quote!
    1016 days ago
    1016 days ago
    When I hear things like this, I always remember the line from the movie American President, something like "some people claim to love America, cleary hate Americans".

    I don't understand why some people cannot respectfully disagree and embrace each other's differences. I did not vote for him either. Many of my friends and extended family did. I would never think to publicly humiliate them and push them out of my life.

    You are a great person for staying true to yourself and taking care of yourself.

    I love that picture. Stand tall my Spark friend!

    1016 days ago
    She wasn't much of a friend! Who needs her? YOU DON"T!!!! YOUR OPINION IS THE ONLY ONE THAT SHOULD COUNT FOR YOU....
    1016 days ago
  • SPEEDY143
    emoticon it looks good on YOU emoticon BTW her loss emoticon
    1016 days ago
    emoticon I am glad that you are going to rise above the Nastiness on Facebook, but I'm really sorry that it came from a Relative.
    The election really did bring out the worst in too many people.
    emoticon Keep Your Spark Burning, you ARE Worth It!!
    1016 days ago
    Oh my gosh! She says she's a Christian..... but she definitely doesn't act like it! Just blow it off. She is not worth your time and energy. You are a beautiful person inside and out!
    Hugs and love, xoxo
    1016 days ago
    One up her... find her profile and BLOCK.

    What normally happens with this crap on facebook is that a month or two later. They realize how batsh*t crazy they have been and then they attempt to re-friend. Since they have already been on the list, it is automatic. You'd never know if she comes back unless you really look. Now, she'd have to contact you to talk to you instead of quietly stalking.
    1016 days ago
  • LIS193
    1016 days ago
    I am sorry that happened to you. BUT honestly, you have arisen from the situation to be a much stronger person than either your SIL or her DD because you've demonstrated that you may feel one way about something and the opposite happens, but you're still kind to others and respectful. Obviously, public humiliation on social media doesn't fit into either of those categories.

    HUGS and keep being the kind, nurturing person you are. Always.

    1016 days ago
  • JOEB52
    Sorry my sister had a similar problem before the election someone posted that she was a Christian. That all should get along and when they lose be forgiving and tolerate each other and support the wining President. When she lost she went on and said anyone who voted or supported the new elected president would be dropped and blocked!
    Sory for what you had to go through
    1016 days ago
    Facebook - 'nough said.
    1016 days ago
    The situation on the election is a bad thing to get into. You will run into people who are like you and people who are not,and they will fight you on your selection. It is bad enough to face a person in person and have them argue with you on the subject emoticon but to go on face book and talk about it then you are liable to get others to hammer you. I feel sorry for what happened to you.
    1016 days ago
    We are advised to not discuss religion or politics. For me this is a dilemma. If we can't discuss these "hot topics" with our friends (note: that category may or may not include family...) then how are we supposed to develop an understanding of other perspectives on these topics? We certainly can't turn it over to the media including social media - think abouy the new buzzword - false news!!??? I am a Christian and our pastor delivered multiple sermons on not judging others throughout the political fray. Sorry to hear that wasn't a message your family member heard.
    1016 days ago
    In one fell swoop we have re-learned to argue neither politics nor religion.
    1016 days ago
  • LIZZIE138
    It's too bad that some people don't realize that we can all have different opinions on every subject under the sun but that a different opinion from theirs doesn't a bad person make. Differences are what makes this world interesting.
    And I have noticed that some of the biggest offenders are those who call themselves good christians.
    I'm glad you stood your ground! emoticon
    1016 days ago
    That was a relative?? Nasty
    keep on voicing..
    Loved your quote! so true ..
    I was unfriended by a great nephew --- who needs the drama!!

    emoticon emoticon
    1016 days ago
    I, too, have a relative on the other side of the political spectrum from me, and while my sister-in-law unfriended her on Facebook (got tired of the rants), I didn't take that step.... No biggie.... unfriending isn't exactly ostracizing... it's just part of the cyclical nature of life... face to face they are quite friendly and civil... the bear just got tired of being poked, so the bear moved out of stick range

    When confronted with something that we don't want to be around, we can (and should) avoid it if we can... that's all I see here...

    Just continue to be yourself, and let her be herself, too...
    1016 days ago
    I wore a vintage button during this election season
    "If I were 21, I'd vote for Kennedy"

    I was 13 in 1960. Several of my friends had Nixon buttons. We still got along.
    Of course, Nixon never threatened to throw Kennedy in jail.
    We didn't have the fake news sites with their stuff going viral. You can't put that genie back in the bottle.

    I never unfriended anyone, but I did hide the posts of those who kept sharing stuff easily proven to be false.
    One actually told me that it's OK because "it fits our message"
    It's stuff you say to get elected.

    A sad state of affairs indeed.

    Yes, at one time you had to be 21 to vote
    At one time you had to male
    At one time you had to own property
    Oh, you also had to be free

    We have made a lot of progress in our history.
    History will judge us for what we do now.

    1016 days ago
    I know what you mean. My own DD has unfriended a lot of my relatives who voted for the newly elected. There are a lot of people I love who are Christians and unbelievers who do not have the same political beliefs I do. Unity is in CHRIST, not politics. Forgive, love, and press on!
    1016 days ago
    1016 days ago
    That is exactly why I keep everything "Jolly". emoticon
    1016 days ago
    This is why I don't bring many of my opinions to Spark: we are here to support weight control. We don't really know other Sparkers, just what they choose to write.

    In the 12 Step Programs, we rigidly speak of nothing other than the principles of the Program and how it applies to recovery. Our very lives depend on agreement on the recovery Program,nothing else.
    1016 days ago
  • MARTHA324
    When I'm in church and listen to the readings from the bible I'm often struck by just how hypocritical some Christians are and that includes many in Congress. After this election I stopped talking about politics to many of my friends.

    1016 days ago
    I agree with Raspberry.
    Those who claim to be so religious, which should involve kindness and inclusion, are usually the most intolerant of anyone who isn't of the same opinion as them.

    Maybe unfriending you was the best thing. Who wants to be friends with someone like that anyway.
    It's their loss for doing that.


    1016 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/6/2017 7:07:27 AM
  • JANET552
    I just don't get why we can't accept others' opinions graciously!! Good for you for your actions!!
    1016 days ago
    Good for You! Your attitude is awesome!
    1016 days ago
    Sadly the recent election divided family and friends and some people have taken it to the extreme without any rhyme or reason. Sorry you had to experience that. You are entitled to your opinions and the constitutional right to express them. But don't let it get you down. Stay true to who you are!! Just remember you were the adult in this situation. emoticon
    1016 days ago
    1016 days ago
  • JAJABEE1717
    One wonders about people who have a need to make other people unhappy -- as if it adds to their happiness. Keep your positive attitude and maybe even try to find a little sympathy for that relative.
    1016 days ago
    Loving the attitude. emoticon
    1016 days ago
    We all are entitled to our opinions..I hope you find that here. Big hugs
    1016 days ago
    Thanks friends. In the words of Taylor Swift, I need to "shake it off!
    1016 days ago
    Can't she love you for who you are? It sounds like you didn't lose a worthy friend.
    1016 days ago
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