Been gone for a long time.
Sunday, January 01, 2017
For some reason I thought I'd check back into Spark People after an absence of over a year. Life has been challenging, but I am in a better place starting 2017 than the last couple of years. I pledged to get back to journalling again so last night I wrote in my journal. It had old entries from 2014 and 15. There was alot of talk about finding no purpose for my life and wishing to be gone. I was surprised by how unhappy I was and how I had been drawn into the despair of my husband's depression. He still denies the depression, but I am getting better at both recognizing it and keeping myself from being dragged back into his mental unhealth. Not saying it's going to be easy but I am a much stronger person and I am more prepared to look after my own needs first. There is much on the agenda for 2017. My oldest daughter is getting married in June, my oldest son is moving to Australia to go to med school. The younger three are pursuing their dreams and for the first time in 29 years I will be an empty nester. I believe I will be ok, after all I have been a full time, stay-at-home Mom for almost 3 decades. My husband and I celebrate 30 years of marriage in May. I don't know how he will be but I know from the last few years that life's joys and milestones need to be celebrated and blessings need to be counted and appreciated. There are too many hard knocks in life to not take pleasure in the simple beauties life offers - this year I am going to take the time to relish in all life has to share. I am ready for 2017. I am going to live more fully, love more deeply, fill my body with good, nourishing food, and enjoy the pleasure in moving my body. I will count my blessings each and every day.