Tuesday, December 27, 2016
I sit here and read some of my older blogs and honestly just shake my head. I'm trying to figure out at what point was it that I gave up. I have such plans, I map it all out, do perfect/or close to it and then......BOOM right back up on the scale and starting all over again!
So where is the point that I stop? Where is it that I decide processed foods and candy out weigh my desire and WANT to be healthy and no longer overweight? I feel one obstetrical I have is that I begin to get down on myself when the scale does not move. So I have asked my husband to hide the battery until my program I am in now ends. That is 30 days of NO scale.
Another thing is my personal development. I have bought many books and have not in months finished one. Right now I am reading The Power of I AM by Joel Osteen and I have to admit I am blown away by how charged up I feel. I am only a few chapters in and I just want all my family and friends to read it with me so they can feel this fantastic too! It really is helping me to see just how much we all cast out such ill, yucky and horrible self projections. We are causing our own failure because we are putting this out in the universe. My self projection has changed over the last few days and already I can feel the difference. In fact I even had an AHH-HAAA moment yesterday at the gym!
Yesterday was my husband and I's first day back at Planet Fitness. For the past few months we had signed up with LA Fitness which was a few miles from the house. Should have known we wouldn't get there! So at the start of this month we switched back to PF which is right around the corner. As I was walking on the treadmill I started looking around. I won't lie I people watch, but I also have a VERY bad habit of comparing myself to other females in the gym and telling myself that I will never be as skinny or as fit as them. Yes, it is VERY self destructive and SO bad. So there I was yesterday starting to do that, and as I was about to tell myself how horrible I looked on the machine, how fat I had let myself get again I looked over and saw a man struggling with a free weight. I instantly stopped and watched him, thinking he needed a lighter weight, but also seeing the determination on his face. Yes he was struggling, but he wasn't complaining, he wasn't looking around at others. His eyes were focused strait ahead, teeth gritted and doing HIM. When I looked back at myself in the mirror I no longer saw what I had before. I now saw ME, and the work I was doing at that point. I didn't see the months of start/stopping my workouts. Instead I looked and told myself how great I am. In that moment it was like I was the only one there, because after all I was the only one "to me" that mattered. I pushed up the speed on my treadmill and was able to finish almost 4 min in a steady jog!
Today was my first day back to work after the holidays so I was able to get to the gym at lunch. Started a round of 21 Day Fix with my friend. It was Tuesday so I started with Upper Fix. I even did one of the Country Heat workouts afterwards. Tonight I'm going to the gym with the hubby to do some more cardio. I'm not trying to burn myself out....but I also want to get in the habit of hitting the gym with him too. While I would never say to him just how badly he needs to lose weight....he really does. He has gotten a very good "Santa belly" over the years and after his mom's passing in July, I just worry a lot about his health. Right now neither of us is healthy. He asked for my help after Thanksgiving so I know it is something that is on his mind also.
Ok....I've rambled in this blog. But, hey....it was a good ramble. I missed being able to just put any thought I have down somewhere. LOL