Tuesday, December 27, 2016

So I did my measurements today. I am really disappointed in myself today. Almost every area went up, with the exception of 2 of them. This is the first time in a while this has happened. I wasn't shocked, as one of my reclaimed pair of jeans is begging to return to the too small pile. I refuse! So tomorrow is the new start. Well, tonight, actually, since I did some yoga and I am having some water, since I am very thirsty. I don't know what my problem is. It's not the holidays, as this started after the last challenge ended a few weeks ago. I'm doing another challenge now, and I am doing horribly. No more!,, emoticon I am going to check in there and head to bed. Night!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You can do it.
    1025 days ago
    Hi Jacque,

    You have a lot going on in your life, between raising small children and living with in-laws. Have you thought about trying to make changes in one area per week, so you can have real successes you can celebrate, without overwhelming yourself with lots of changes to make all at once?

    To my mind, there are several distinct areas of healthy living which work together, not just for weight-loss, but also for self care. I find it difficult to get all those balls in the air at one time! This summer I decided to work on getting one change at a time working in my life. I started with daily cardio plus a salad once per day, then I added in strength training. I cut out alcohol (I had been having a glass of red wine at least 4-5 days per week, but found this would cause me to overeat in the evening) which also got rid of the nighttime snacking. I then focussed on eating clean, which meant more meal planning, and allowed me to include more veggies, fewer carbs and leaner protein sources. I then decided to make one meal or snack a protein and greens shake--so yummy I don't even miss sweets! If I had tried to do this all at once I would have failed. Guaranteed. It has happened before, lots of times. No more, Jacque. I'm sick of feeling like a failure, and I'm really sad I have set myself up for disaster so many times.

    Jacque, I will not lie to you and say this process is easy. I wish I could say I always get everything done optimally every day. I have really good weeks, really good days, and some weeks or days which are quite disappointing. Life is busy. Things happen which take time away from exercise, emotional ups and downs make things more difficult sometimes, and social eating occasions arise and cannot be dodged (especially last week, visiting my family during the festive season of eating, unrealistic expectations and dysfunctional family drama.) That's life. I figure that, as I try to do my best for my one and only body, and as I learn from the times during which things go sideways, I will get better at this. I doubt it will ever be easy, but I can imagine a time when it will be, for the most part, doable for me. I really do.

    The main thing, for me, is to stop expecting perfection from myself, and to stop demanding that every change must happen all at once. Will power. Self-control. Virtue. B*** sh**! Sorry, Jacque, but I hate those ideas. This set of principles is what is behind the all-or-nothing thinking which has and still does make me miserable, and sets me up for failure. Will power, self-control and virtue, when tied to weight loss, are stupid, judgmental concepts which cause a lot of psychological violence to vulnerable overweight people.

    Will power is a dumb idea, and is utterly useless, because it is a mysterious and absolute power which we either do or do not have. Depending on "will power" robs us of our real power to change our lives. What we really need is a plan and some hope, not this magic bullet of will power. Self-control is also a ridiculous idea. Again, this is an absolute, and we either have it or we don't. Identifying self-control as the way to change our lifestyle will sabotage our efforts before we even start--but who needs it, anyway? What we really need is self-management, self-forgiveness and some strategies. Certain hormonal or emotional events can be counted on to challenge our plans, and we need strategies, as well as self-forgiveness, to roll with the punches without collapsing. As for virtue--OMG. The day "virtue" is summed up by what a human being does or does not do while in the throes of a food craving is a very sad day indeed. Virtue is much deeper that that, and has to do with love, compassion and principles, not some stupid societal conditioning having to do with weight control, in service to the ideal body size or shape. A person can be virtuous at any weight, and it seems pretty obvious that people who manage to conform to our society's ideal body shape can actually fall very short of virtue. What a stupid, stupid thing, to tie virtue to exercise and dieting.

    I find myself saying to you all the things I say to myself every day. I've bought into all this garbage, too. A lot of us have. But it does not have to be this way. Just say "no" Jacque. No more all-or-nothing expectations. Allow yourself the time to make changes one by one. Allow yourself to enjoy attainable victories, and move on to others as you feel ready. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself credit for the things you do right. Have compassion for the struggles you have in your life. It is not easy to look our past defeats in the face and begin again. However, trust me, it is possible. You can do this.

    Yes you can. You can do this.

    1027 days ago
    Oh no... I can how it would be discouraging. You can do this. Stay strong.
    1028 days ago
    1029 days ago
    emoticon You can do this!
    1029 days ago
    Goodnight and persistence pays off.
    1029 days ago
    Good night
    1029 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    emoticon emoticon
    1029 days ago
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