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My Brain Swirls

Saturday, December 03, 2016

The scale says I lost 2.8# last week. Not sure about that, but, I'll take it. I have not been working out or eating right or anything to take care of myself lately. I have plantar fasciitis on my left foot. All this time, I thought it was the chronic tendonitis from the surgery decades ago. Walking is very painful!

Work has been absolutely beyond belief busy. The fourth quarter is always crazy, but this is the worst I have experienced ever! I am so brain dead by the end of the day that I have no energy left for anything. I am getting better sleep, though, and that may be helping me to keep my tongue in check....:)

Last week, my general counsel told me that the board has approved adding two more people to the legal team, a licensing administrator/negotiator in our Knoxville office and a paralegal in our Charlotte office. Then he said he would let me transfer to Charlotte if I want to do so. The company won't pay moving costs and I would not get a raise for eons because I take my California pay with me. Given that my housing situation is very precarious, even though this will be an unplanned big bite, I am seriously exploring the idea. I told him I am open to it. There is no coming back to California if I leave. I love the weather here, but the living situation and the ever increasingly horrendous traffic and the fact that I have been working 2 jobs for decades just to make ends meet make this something I probably need to do. Downsides: weather in NC is not my cuppa tea, farther away from some family (I do have family in VA and GA), and starting over at my age....

I spoke with a realtor about a house I saw online. I could afford the monthly payments, but the down payment is a hurdle. He told me that I should look at homes that are nearly twice this one because it would be an easier loan for the lending entity to write. For this smaller amount, it ends up costing more. I am unsophisticated in these matters, but I do know how to fact find, so I need to do some research. Much as I want to get out of the owning a mobile home and paying space rent with all the rules and regs, that might be what I will have to do until I get in better financial condition. The pressure there is my age. I am looking at retirement far too soon.

I am a super chicken when it comes to driving in unknown areas, so the thought of driving across country is absolutely terrifying. I also have 3 furry members of my family to think about. Juneau is just over 10 years old and the two boys are 2 or 3 years old, one year apart. BF will come with me because he has nowhere else to go, but I can expect no financial help from him. Fortunately, there is some VA medical care available in Charlotte, though not as robust as here.

My brain swirls. I am overwhelmed. I sometimes want to quit.

But I can't!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • _LINDA
    Congrats on the weight loss! Hope it wasn't due to just stress.
    WoW! What a major upheaval that would be! And no pay increase. Is the cost of living there that much better you would be doing well there to afford to buy a home? Yes, you are amazing at research and should be able to ferret out all the details. To me the Carolinas are still south and a heck of a lot warmer than here, but I imagine to a Californian, it would be a deep freeze. But what a lovely, green place it would be. Having a peaceful retreat is worth its weight in gold and you are under so much stress. If you keep your California pay, wouldn't that mean keeping your seniority too and not having to start over?
    Do you have a tennis ball to roll your foot? Also orthotics or proper supportive shoes are a must to treat that painful foot condition. Icing might help, but the stretching it out is most important. You can see a demo online.
    You are incredibly strong and can do anything you set your mind to. What ever your decision you know it will be right for you in your heart.
    Take care of yourself!
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    709 days ago
    It is so much to think about!!! I know you'll make a good decision, though.
    709 days ago
    Good luck with making your decision! It seems like you've already made up your mind, you just need to do some research. Hope things go well for you!
    709 days ago
    After reading your blog my head is swirling to and I do not have to make the decision. Just know whatever decision you make is the right one. You go forward and you make the best of it. That is my philosophy anyway. You can do it either way! Go girl!
    709 days ago
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