ADARKARA
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A Wild Plan - Update

Sunday, November 20, 2016

I'm now a week into this plan and I have to say it's going really well. I tracked EVERYTHING I ate, used my heart rate monitor for all my workouts, and last week I had a calorie deficit of 2629. I'm very happy with that, considering one night I went a little overboard and had a few extra snacks. I did 6 workouts over 5 days. The best part? Re-incorporating peanut butter into an almost daily part of my diet has eliminated the desire to binge on it. Last Sunday I bought two jars of Crazy Richard's Peanut Butter (no salt or sugar) and I still have 1.5 jars left, which is very good considering I was eating a whole jar in about 5 days.

Emotionally I'm doing okay. I've been doing an immense amount of soul searching. Friday morning I had breakfast with a friend who is very much a mentor to me. He lost his job last week and is in the process of retiring to Florida. We talked for a good two hours about everything that's been going on with me lately and it really helped to put things into perspective. It's so incredibly nice to have someone understand exactly who you are and be be able to articulate their understanding of your thought process and situation despite a generation gap and to be able to provide guidance without judgment. I hope we stay in touch after the move.

Tomorrow my husband goes to our marriage counselor by himself to have a session alone. I truly hope he makes some sort of progress there without me. I think he really wants to work on our marriage but at the same time I'm not 100% sure he feels the same urgency I do. He is an incredibly patient man and I am vastly less patient, but I am also much more proactive in my life than he is, so there's a bit of fear and uneasiness on my part. So we'll see.

Sometimes it's hard to hear how little we connect on some things. I told him today I was tired of feeling alone, and asked him if he'd ever felt alone. Excepting two occasions when he was a little kid and was actually alone he said no, he never feels alone. How is that even possible? And how will he ever be able to understand me if he has no idea how I feel? I guess I'm just feeling more worried and less hopeful about there being a change on his end. What really happens remains to be seen.

In the meantime, I have my workouts and my friends to help keep my mood up. :)

This wound up being much more serious than it started out being, but I guess I needed to get it out sometime.

Hope everyone is staying on track and if I don't blog again have a Happy Thanksgiving!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • OVERDUECHANGE
    Good work on the plan.
    Best of luck on the rest.

    I just returned from a trip where I got to see multiple people who listen and provide healthy perspective. Those experiences are so valuable.
    (feeling lonely since I returned home, though, that's for sure.)
    692 days ago
  • IAMSUNNYHOWARD
    Thank you for sharing! I don't have any advice, but it sounds like you have a great chance of working on your issues, like the old saying goes- Showing up it the beginning!

    Hugs to you and Happy Thanksgiving!
    692 days ago
  • LUCKEE40
    You and I sound like we really are in the same boat right now. I am really doing a deep dive into personal development and also trying to do some soul searching as well. I really hope you and your hubs can work stuff out. Wyatt and I hit a rough patch this past year, but we are finally reconnecting. I wish you the very best and I am here if you need anything friend!


    693 days ago
  • OXYGEN9
    Great job with your plan, keep it up!
    About your marriage: talk to each other, a lot. The fact that you're both in counselling makes me think there is willingness to work on your marriage on both sides. Change won't happen overnight, it's a process... My husband and I had huge problems at the beginning of our relationship /marriage that we managed to overcome, and we've both matured in the process. emoticon emoticon However, there are some things you won't be able to change too, and that is okay. Like SLIMMERKIWI says, there will be differences but you can still work together well. Best of luck!
    694 days ago
  • BONNIEMCC488
    I'm glad things are going better with your eating and that talking things out with your friend/mentor helped you out so much! That's great news! I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving too!
    694 days ago
  • LIVEDAILY
    Yay for success on the new eating plan!! You took an "enemy" and made it a "friend" - a vital friend!! That's super!!

    People can be alone and yet never feel alone. Did you ask Hubs to try to explain himself? Your questions tell me that this is an area that you guys need to discuss more. You need to be able to explain to him what you mean when you say "I'm tired of feeling alone". Alone spiritually? Alone physically? Mentally? You share stories of day trips you guys take, your job, your family trips, your cooking, your running/walking group, your adventure runs, Bingley, your writing, your blog. Are you not yet comfortable in your own skin? Because you are one busy lady with multiple activities!

    I think I've finally decided on the rest of my menu besides the turkey and gravy! Spinach soufflé, corn pudding, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce. So green, yellow, white, orange, and red. Almost a rainbow!!
    emoticon
    694 days ago
  • SLIMMERKIWI
    It sounds like you have been doing a lot of analyzing lately.

    The peanut butter situation was a good move. As far as your marriage is concerned, you are both seeking qualified help and that is great. You know, we can still have a good relationship without having experienced similar to what the other feels. We just need to accept that everyone is different and build on the similar likes etc. My late hubby and I were poles apart in many ways, as are many couples, but their marriage still remains strong and intact. We need to accept those differences for what they are - so long as they aren't detrimental to our health.

    Kris xxx
    694 days ago
  • FOUNTOFBLESSING
    emoticon on your plan. Peanut butter helps me too. Actually quite a lot. So sorry to hear about your issues. My heart certainly goes out to you!

    On another note, have you ever done a Get up? Out of all the kettlebell lifts, I despise Get Ups, lol. I would clean and press all day long than to do one Get Up, lol
    694 days ago
  • TSHAWGER
    Hang in there and be strong. Happy Thanksgiving to you.
    695 days ago
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