A Wild Plan - Update
Sunday, November 20, 2016
I'm now a week into this plan and I have to say it's going really well. I tracked EVERYTHING I ate, used my heart rate monitor for all my workouts, and last week I had a calorie deficit of 2629. I'm very happy with that, considering one night I went a little overboard and had a few extra snacks. I did 6 workouts over 5 days. The best part? Re-incorporating peanut butter into an almost daily part of my diet has eliminated the desire to binge on it. Last Sunday I bought two jars of Crazy Richard's Peanut Butter (no salt or sugar) and I still have 1.5 jars left, which is very good considering I was eating a whole jar in about 5 days.
Emotionally I'm doing okay. I've been doing an immense amount of soul searching. Friday morning I had breakfast with a friend who is very much a mentor to me. He lost his job last week and is in the process of retiring to Florida. We talked for a good two hours about everything that's been going on with me lately and it really helped to put things into perspective. It's so incredibly nice to have someone understand exactly who you are and be be able to articulate their understanding of your thought process and situation despite a generation gap and to be able to provide guidance without judgment. I hope we stay in touch after the move.
Tomorrow my husband goes to our marriage counselor by himself to have a session alone. I truly hope he makes some sort of progress there without me. I think he really wants to work on our marriage but at the same time I'm not 100% sure he feels the same urgency I do. He is an incredibly patient man and I am vastly less patient, but I am also much more proactive in my life than he is, so there's a bit of fear and uneasiness on my part. So we'll see.
Sometimes it's hard to hear how little we connect on some things. I told him today I was tired of feeling alone, and asked him if he'd ever felt alone. Excepting two occasions when he was a little kid and was actually alone he said no, he never feels alone. How is that even possible? And how will he ever be able to understand me if he has no idea how I feel? I guess I'm just feeling more worried and less hopeful about there being a change on his end. What really happens remains to be seen.
In the meantime, I have my workouts and my friends to help keep my mood up. :)
This wound up being much more serious than it started out being, but I guess I needed to get it out sometime.
Hope everyone is staying on track and if I don't blog again have a Happy Thanksgiving!