One thing is better than nothing
Monday, November 07, 2016
I have a confession. I have a terrible tendency to make elaborate plans with the best intentions to follow through. I plan to have nothing but healthy meals, and work out 5 days a week like a champ. And sometimes I start off and actually stick to my plan, but in no time at all I'm missing workouts and making bad food choices. And once it starts I decide I've failed, so why bother trying at all? It's a terrible cycle and it is often difficult to shake that negative perspective.
I have been very guilty of that lately, especially when it comes to exercise. I honestly do pretty well with food most of the time, even when I'm not pushing myself to track and really focus on it. But there's something about working out that is just a hang up for me. And I really haven't started anything in months! I walk my dog most days, but I just don't count that as a true workout. It's a leisurely stroll that hopefully counteracts a small fraction of inactivity from my desk job, but I know I need to do much more than that.
I recently had a "one-on-one" session with my online coach (I'm part of a weight loss program offered through my insurance), and there was something about just talking it out with someone not directly involved in my personal life that was eye opening for me. I was nervous, and surprised to find myself actually breaking down a couple of times as I talked about what I wanted, and why I thought I wasn't doing what I knew I should to get me where I want to be. Part of it was that looming fear of failure... why try when I knew I was just going to fail? And part was my social anxiety... what if people noticed? What if they notice and then I slip up and gained the weight back? What will people think of me?
I am trying to keep in mind a quote I stumbled across somewhere (I wish I could remember where!). It said "What other people think of you is none of your business." Very true, but it can be so hard not to worry about it.
Also, to break my failure mindset when it comes to exercise, we decided it would be best for me to start with just one day where I workout without fail. Just one. Its hard for me to think that one day is good enough, but I hope it will create some success and momentum to add a 2nd day and so on. Sometimes setting a goal, even one that seems small and too easy, that you actually complete is better than the biggest and best plans that never happen.
That's my plan for now! I actually started this a week ago Friday. I worked out that first Friday, then the following week I did an unscheduled workout on Thursday (just a bonus), and although I didn't do my workout as scheduled on Friday, I did make it up over the weekend, so that is a win. I have to strive for improvement, not perfection.