how I'm feeling in this moment
Friday, October 21, 2016
So, I am hoping I will get to post a blog of a different nature later today, but I am preparing myself for the worst and hoping for the best.
Right now, my heart and mind are running a million miles a minute. My phd committee and the outside GFR (grad faculty rep) are meeting in Ohio for my Pre-Defense meeting on my dissertation to determine if I can advance to defense. I was hoping I would hear from my advisor sooner rather than later but I am not entirely hopeful...she did tell me that she had a meeting right after so I shouldn't expect to hear from her immediately. Either way, I will hear something today.
This has my nerves feeling blah. I'm scared, anxious, nervous, wound up, emotional, concerned, excited...like, I'm on the worst rollercoaster ride of my life. I want this to go well SO BADLY so I can move forward, defend this dissertation and move on with my life. It has been a LONG 6.5 years. I am SO ready to be able to make myself a priority and not have this competing agenda with school and work on my plate. I want to be able to focus on myself, my relationships with others and with God, my job, and my future (maybe a family). I just feel so held back by this process and it has been nothing short of a journey that I dont know I would embark on again.
Anyways, I'm rambling. Trying to massage out this gross tumbly stomach I am dealing with at the moment.
Fingers crossed. All the positive energy. And finding some semblance of peace (maybe after I get my notice).
Happy Friday everyone, peace and love!