Wednesday, October 19, 2016
I've been in a skilled nursing facility since May 13, 2016; receiving therapy and wound care. Many times my Physical therapist and I have discussions, about life and improving one-self.
One day it was about forgiveness...the past that's like a coffin, dragging us down.
My father was a person that never praised his children for anything. He felt that you alone should be proud of your accomplishments and it should be enough. I never strived to be better or take risks, because no-one took the time to care. It was easier to forgive him for not getting to know his children and who or what we were becoming. I think he would have been surprised.
To forgive my mother took much longer. My hatred stemmed from the legacy she left me..low self-esteem, low self-worth and low self-confidence. She thrived at trying to micro-manage my entire life...She was never satisfied until she broke me down.
When I fully and completely forgave them....the coffin disappeared, a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I slowly began to remember some of the happier times of my life.
God and I have long talks...it's been a change I've needed in a long time. I'm still floundering, but each day becomes more hopeful than the day before and slowly my heart is healing....