ADARKARA
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Update

Monday, October 17, 2016

First of all, I want to thank each and everyone one of you for commenting on my blog yesterday. I intend to personally respond to you all as I can.

I think writing it out helped some. It felt like I was confessing a great secret: I am not perfect, and maintenance is not sunshine and rainbows all the time (or most of the time). It's work.

After I wrote that blog I went to an Out of the Darkness walk with my walking group. For those of you that don't know, it's a charity walk to work on preventing suicide. I personally have never quite reached the point where I wanted to end my life, but I used to work with a man that hanged himself. He was deaf and felt that he had no future. He was only 22 years old.

Here in the United States mental health issues are often stigmatized, but the truth is, there is no NORMAL. Everyone has stuff they're dealing with. There is no shame in seeking help from a professional if it becomes too much to handle. As I've said before, I've been to counseling twice for my abandonment issues (which are classified as a form of PTSD), once when I was in college, and once about 2 years ago. I am greatly improved from working with those two professionals (the first a psychologist and the second a counselor specializing in hypnotherapy), but mental health, like weight maintenance, is a process. It's not something that goes away, you have to keep working at it. Some days (weeks, months) are harder than others. We all have triggers. I've told you mine. The more open we are about these things that are a part of us, the better we can understand that others are more like us than we think.

I had a good time at the walk. The spirit of the walk is hope, not sadness. There is no talk of statistics of self-inflicted deaths, nor the pain experienced by the survivors of loss via suicide. The talk is all of embracing those around us, reaching out to those in pain, and working on funding the research so that one day there may be a world without suicide. I was with friends, all of whom had experienced the loss of someone they knew to suicide. Afterwards we had coffee, and I headed home.

Hubs and I went grocery shopping, and stopped at TJ Maxx where I got some retail therapy by getting a pair of running pants with the image of stars/galaxies on it! We also got Bingley a super cute winter coat and some poopy bags, haha.

I did some bookkeeping work for my client, and then made dinner. (Hey, if you really wanna see all my food follow me on Instagram: ameasuredlife4) I finally relaxed a bit and played some Starcraft II: Heart of the Swarm and finished the campaign. What a great story! I chilled out for a bit and chatted with a friend, watched an episode of Orange is the New Black and finally went to bed about midnight. I did NOT binge yesterday, and finished my day only 100 calories over my range because I stayed up so late. Woke up around 6:45 this morning.

Today hubs and I are going to go to our favorite thrift store to look for winter clothes then clean up the apartment a bit. I'm also going to work out. Will report back if I get any cute clothes!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ADF1981
    I enjoy your Instagram posts so much! Your food always looks so exciting too. Most of my food is repetitive which I won't deny I enjoy the consistency, but love seeing what others eat LOL.
    609 days ago
  • LIVEDAILY
    Good update! Awesome pants!! Have you been to Marshall's looking for the Bingley dog toy?? OMG it is so adorable!! Yes, retail therapy is very important! I'm going to have to go through my closet carefully. I'm down a shirt size, and all of my favorite tops swim on me now.
    612 days ago
  • BLUECAFE
    Glad you're feeling better. What a wonderful cause... my dearest friend in the world lost her 25 yr old daughter to suicide 3 yrs ago this Christmas. emoticon
    612 days ago
  • BEESHELL8
    Glad today is better. I've been wanting to participate in one of those walks; I know / worked with some folks who helped participate in the one in SF. They lost their son to suicide several years ago. You wrote very eloquently about the stigma and the need to be open. It has amazed me how many of my spark friends here struggle as I do. You are right about it being a process, and we all have our things. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    I added all green emoticons since lime green is the color for mental heatlh awareness. Hugs
    612 days ago
  • KRISZTA11
    I'm glad you are feeling better, and I hope your work situation improves.
    It must be difficult to lose two employees before a peak workload period.
    Stay strong and be kind to yourself!
    emoticon
    612 days ago
  • BONNIEMCC488
    Sounds like the walk came at a perfect time. It's sad how some reach that point. I don't know anyone personally (that I know of) but both my brother and sister have lost childhood friends in the past few years to suicide, and I hear of others having friends who have as well. It saddens me even though I don't know those people personally. It is important to reach out to those who are struggling no matter what, do what we can to help them. We can never know how close someone is to ending their own life.

    Those running pants sound wonderful! I love shopping to help me feel better. It's kind of like you get into a different headspace and kind of clear out your mind, even temporarily while you look for something in particular or simply browse!
    612 days ago
  • RAINEY2010
    Andrea, I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time. I read the previous blog, and I can relate to much of what you wrote. And I'm so happy you have your Sparkfriends (and IRL friends!!) to support you. I'm glad you went to the walk, and had a great rest of the day with the Hubs.

    PS - I thought I had subscribed to your blogs on here, but apparently not, since I just happened to see this one in my feed! So now I am properly subscribed. :)

    PPS - I always enjoy reading your AML blogs. In your Cuban pork salad post, I saw the link you provided to the Cuban pork recipe, and I tried it in the crockpot this past weekend. And well, let's just say my cooking skills aren't as good as yours. Even when I'm using the it-pretty-much-does-all-the-work-fo
    r-you crockpot. LMAO

    Hope you have a great week!
    612 days ago
  • MISTY_MOUNTAINS
    I'm glad you're starting to feel a little better! Writing things out is very helpful, I find.

    Yay for retail therapy!! Good luck on your hunt!
    612 days ago
  • IAMSUNNYHOWARD
    emoticon
    612 days ago
  • LEANLEIGH
    Enjoy your time with Hubs! I love the nickname!
    612 days ago
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