Monday, October 17, 2016
First of all, I want to thank each and everyone one of you for commenting on my blog yesterday. I intend to personally respond to you all as I can.
I think writing it out helped some. It felt like I was confessing a great secret: I am not perfect, and maintenance is not sunshine and rainbows all the time (or most of the time). It's work.
After I wrote that blog I went to an Out of the Darkness walk with my walking group. For those of you that don't know, it's a charity walk to work on preventing suicide. I personally have never quite reached the point where I wanted to end my life, but I used to work with a man that hanged himself. He was deaf and felt that he had no future. He was only 22 years old.
Here in the United States mental health issues are often stigmatized, but the truth is, there is no NORMAL. Everyone has stuff they're dealing with. There is no shame in seeking help from a professional if it becomes too much to handle. As I've said before, I've been to counseling twice for my abandonment issues (which are classified as a form of PTSD), once when I was in college, and once about 2 years ago. I am greatly improved from working with those two professionals (the first a psychologist and the second a counselor specializing in hypnotherapy), but mental health, like weight maintenance, is a process. It's not something that goes away, you have to keep working at it. Some days (weeks, months) are harder than others. We all have triggers. I've told you mine. The more open we are about these things that are a part of us, the better we can understand that others are more like us than we think.
I had a good time at the walk. The spirit of the walk is hope, not sadness. There is no talk of statistics of self-inflicted deaths, nor the pain experienced by the survivors of loss via suicide. The talk is all of embracing those around us, reaching out to those in pain, and working on funding the research so that one day there may be a world without suicide. I was with friends, all of whom had experienced the loss of someone they knew to suicide. Afterwards we had coffee, and I headed home.
Hubs and I went grocery shopping, and stopped at TJ Maxx where I got some retail therapy by getting a pair of running pants with the image of stars/galaxies on it! We also got Bingley a super cute winter coat and some poopy bags, haha.
I did some bookkeeping work for my client, and then made dinner. (Hey, if you really wanna see all my food follow me on Instagram: ameasuredlife4) I finally relaxed a bit and played some Starcraft II: Heart of the Swarm and finished the campaign. What a great story! I chilled out for a bit and chatted with a friend, watched an episode of Orange is the New Black and finally went to bed about midnight. I did NOT binge yesterday, and finished my day only 100 calories over my range because I stayed up so late. Woke up around 6:45 this morning.
Today hubs and I are going to go to our favorite thrift store to look for winter clothes then clean up the apartment a bit. I'm also going to work out. Will report back if I get any cute clothes!