Two weeks in, and only one way out
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
So I've been officially dieting for two weeks, as of today. Of course, I guess it's not supposed to be a "diet", technically. And yes, I'm hoping to extend my better eating habits, at least in part, for the rest of my life. It's encouraging that over the past several years I've made progressively better choices and developed some good habits.
But I'm still chunkier than I'd like, and I need to lose weight to change that. The only problem is, I'm something of a failure when it comes to actual, targeted dieting. I generally get motivated to lose weight, get excited, and do really well for a week or two.
That's all I 've ever managed, though--just a couple weeks of determined effort. Then, inevitably, something happens. I overeat at a party. I pass the baked goods aisle at a particularly hungry moment, and lose my nerve. Sometimes I just get so sick of depriving myself that I decide it's not worth it. I give in and eat whatever I want, just have a food heyday. And it tastes SOOO good... for a while, anyway.
I can feel myself getting to that point now, getting hungry and feeling a little deprived because I'd really like to eat some chips and dip right now but I can't. It just starts to feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, you know? Like, when am I EVER going to have lovely chips and dip? I'll probably never buy them because I don't need the junk food in the house. I won't use them as a reward because I don't want food rewards. *sigh*
It's times like these when I need to remind myself that I'm not on this diet because anybody's making me. I didn't just randomly land in a place where I'm not allowed to consume ice cream and peanut butter cups. I CHOSE to be here, and it is because of the things that I want that I am CHOOSING not to eat creamy dips and huge steaks and cookies.
Maybe that's a good thing to remember: I am NOT deprived. I control what I put in my mouth, and I could have any lovely fattening food ANY time I wanted it--it's all there within my reach. But I'm choosing to forgo those pleasures (and the accompanying thunder thighs) to be the person I want to be. A person with willpower, confidence, and beauty.
And a very cute butt. :)