One small victory at a time
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
Yesterday was a "typical Monday". Work was hectic, and for some reason I was just in a low emotionally. I got home from work and walked my dog, and even though I just wanted go to bed for an extra long nap, I told myself to just try my workout. It's on a dvd, and I could not for the life of me get it to play! I had just used the dvd player late last week with no problem, but for some reason today it wasn't happening no matter what I tried. So sadly I ended up giving up, and I didn't get to do my planned workout. This didn't help my already bummed out mood, and even after my nap I felt like a storm cloud. But after dinner (which I managed to keep portion controlled!), my husband and I took the dog for another walk, so not all was lost in my goal to get moving every day.
This morning when I got to work (mind you, this is nearly 3:00am), I saw it... the box of fancy, huge donuts and donut like treats... and no one else around. At first I ignored it, then I got curious and looked inside. Man, did they look good! I watched my hand reach out for one... it was the smallest, plainest one in the box. Surely that would make it ok, right? But by some small miracle, and will-power that I'm not used to having, I stopped just short of picking it up. I put the lid back on and walked away!
I've been beating myself up lately because I haven't had any progress in a couple of months now. I know this is because I haven't been trying, and I allowed myself to get back into my old habits. I've gained back what I had lost since the beginning of the year (about 12 pounds), which might not seem like much, but it is so frustrating because it feels like when I finally start to get somewhere, I slip and end up right back at the beginning again.
I think part of the problem is I am too worried about doing everything perfect all the time, and don't appreciate the small victories. Yesterday was a bad day for me, and yet I stayed in my calorie range, and went for 2 walks. Even this morning I stopped myself from eating that donut, even though there wouldn't have been any witnesses! As hard as it is, I'm going to try to focus on each step, and when I stumble I want to make my next decision a good one, instead of letting it be a domino effect.