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Frustrated with myself

Tuesday, October 04, 2016

I know, I should encourage myself instead of criticise, but this week since Friday has really not gone my way. I mean that I have not been able to do what I really wanted to do, in spite of my efforts.

My BP has been extremely high.
Everytime I get upright, I get giddy in my head. A bit like seeing stars, except not like after a fall or a blow. More like hypersensitivity to any source of light, including sunlight.
I am seeing my GP in 2 days, so I got to be sensible and patient with myself.
But it leaves me frustrated,, like I let myself down.

I have been trying to rest more, hoping that would make my BP come down.
But it is slightly "critical" right now, like an average of 165+ systolic over 115+ diastolic with a high of 196/124. I am lightheaded all the time and have no energy at all.
And when I feel out of control like this, I want to eat. So I am really struggling not to.

However, 2 things really inspired me today.
I went over quotes of the day, and came across this one on Twitter:

And I have been watching Dancing with the Stars. Watching how people who are not physically inclined towards ballroom dancing, work so hard to improve their skills and look really good in the process, and really enjoy it.

My favorites are Laurie Hernandez (only 16 years old and such a natural success in everything she does) and James Hinchcliffe, the Indycar driver. I love Hinchcliffe and would like him to win, but it might very well be Laurie Hernandez that will take it to the top, and she deserves every single point from the judges. Wow, that dedication!
How can I do less than give it 100% too.

So yesterday (it is after Midnight right now, so yes, talking about yesterday still) I did fairly well. I had a Special-K dairy protein shake for breakfast, a veggie protein shake for lunch (greens, carrots, v8 tomato juice, v8 greens & protein powder), a salad with guacamole and 5oz of popcorn chicken (frozen and microwaved) wrapped in a medium tortilla for dinner and lots of herbal tea.

And I worked out for about 2hrs spread out over the day (gazelle, bike, strength training, and flexibility)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Take good care of yourself. emoticon
    1518 days ago
    Wishing you relief. I brought my BP all the way down to normal by riding my bike and practicing meditation every day. You are on your way! You can do this!
    1518 days ago
  • BEFIT020
    WOW! That is a HIGH BP. I'm curious to see what your doctor will say about it. Like KarenLars said, be kind to yourself.

    Loved the quote emoticon
    1518 days ago
    The most important thing for you right now is to take care of that BP!! Be careful while exercising--can you moniter your BP while exercising? You might want to wait till you see your doc before doing too much. Your eating and exercise sound really good--just take care of the BP!! And try not to feel frustrated with yourself!! Sometimes we have health issues and blaming yourself isn't fair!! You're doing everything in your power to get/stay healthy with eating/exercising right--that's all you can do!! Give yourself credit for the good things you're doing for yourself, and be kind to yourself with the other stuff! emoticon
    1518 days ago
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