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Saturday, September 24, 2016

Struggling. I hate to even admit that. Just downright struggling. Been struggling since this dang Bronchitis set in over a week ago. Trying to stay positive and I know alot of the way I'm feeling right now is because between being on 2 different inhalers, PREDNISONE! 40 milligrams once again, two different antibiotics and COUGHING!!

Keep telling myself I'm not going back to where I came from, and believe me I'm not, but just feeling a little hopeless right now. Didn't go to my normal WI today cause I'd been weighed in at my doc's office on Thursday and am up 7 pounds, and I'm not blaming it on that Prednisone but me. I'm trying not to beat myself up. I'm trying to read all my past WW materials, which is where I've come from and where I have to admit will still continue to go to my meetings and my WI's but being here with so many of my awesome WW friends, well, losing our community is still something I'm rather struggling with.

Anyway, I don't want to depress or bore anyone any further but just wanted to put it out there I'm just hitting a few rough patches and just needed to vent. I know it could be a lot worse, but for me right now in my mind it is bad. Won't allow myself to get back over that 200lb mark, but dang!!!! Not being able to exercise, especially having hip replacement and feeling so encouraged and so much better having that nasty, old, painful hip replaced, I'd been doing so well. I know this shall pass. Just having a touch one. Struggling also with finding out this past week I have another friend, Lisa, who I've known for over 20 years is now in the hospital, struggling so hard to beat the cancer that has now spread into her bones has been something else I've been struggling with. The family has tried to keep it quiet and amongst themselves but her husband had just informed me this evening that it does not look good and I'm rather distraught, as I lost my very best childhood friend several years ago from breast cancer, and this as well is hitting me rather hard. I ate to comfort myself which I know is the WORST thing you can do. I've been at this long enough to know that the UGLY FOOD MONSTER, junk food junkie food monster isn't gonna make anything better or right. It's only gonna make things worse.

Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm rambling. I need to quit while I'm ahead. Tomorrow is another new day. Haven't been able to exercise due to the wheezing, which doc says should be getting under control by this weekend. I'm just feeling bummed. I'm just feeling sad. But I WILL NEVER GIVE UP, as I've done in the past.

All's I can do is pray for my friend Lisa, as I know she is in so much pain. I HATE CANCER!!! My issues with food is nothing like what she and her family are having to deal with at this time, so I have to stop feeling sorry for me and just keep on keeping on, taking my meds and getting myself well so I can deal with the rest of the stuff going on in my little world right now.

Life is life. I'm human. I'll be okay. Thanks for letting me vent. Amen
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hang in there girl...when you're sick, your entire body is out of whack...you need to stop pushing yourself and berating yourself for not being able to exercise...you need time to heal. Remember whatever you gain, you will get back off. It stinks, but it is what it is. All you can do is try not to feed your feelings and keep the house clear of your food triggers. I'm praying for you, your friend and her family. Cancer takes too many...breaks my heart! Stay strong and get better soon.
    1165 days ago
    1165 days ago
  • SYDNEY3211
    Prayers for your friend and what you're going through. Try to drink as much as possible and maybe some chicken soup to help with the bronchitis. At least the illness is temporary and now that your hip has been replaced you'll be able to be active soon.
    1166 days ago
    When I was on Pred---Our dishnet gave us The Hallmark Channel. I'd sit and watch sappy movies and cry and cry. :D Even when I knew every hallmark movie was about love lost, love found and that everything would work out, my emotions just poured out!

    However, you need the pred, I needed the pred. Make the best of it that you can. It's just for a season...
    1166 days ago
    Prednisone not only makes you feel hungry and has a gazillion side effects, one of which is to play with your emotions. You have a lot of "junk" passing through your life right now and the prednisone is amplifying it. Try and come up with a good food plan and don't beat yourself up over the setback. This is a lifelong proposition, this weight management thing! emoticon
    1166 days ago
  • WW21510
    That's a lot of stuff! I hear your fighter voice through all of this. Keep fighting and doing what you can do. And praying. Sending mine to Lisa, too.
    1166 days ago
    I am so sorry about your friend. You are going through a lot of stuff right now. You can vent here anytime you like. I hope things get better soon. emoticon
    1166 days ago
    The prednisone is a tough one, they talk about it in The Obesity Code book. You will gain on it. Should be temporary.
    Hope you feel physically better soon , and emotionally.... well, it's called LIFE and it just keeps coming at us doesn't it? Hang tough and when you find your self roaming the kitchen... get a big glass of lemon water , go outside and soak out the sunshine today . Walk around your back yard, that should cheer you up a little. Try a little mediation too. Food is not the answer, but you knew that.
    1166 days ago
    You might not want to blame the prednisone, but I am gong to! That stuff can change the way one thinks and feels about EVERYTHING! Let it do what it can do for you, then pick up your tools and get to work undoing the side effects. I hope you can get some sleep and heal, but you are so right about cancer being just plain horrible. I will be so glad when a real cure is found, one that is not poison and one that doesn't make it necessary to be locked into a lead lined room and bolted to a table. Just horrid!
    1166 days ago
    Prednisone is a tough one to deal with, but it IS a miracle drug. I never found that it makes me eat more, but it does make me hold water. It will pass. I am sorry about your friend.
    1167 days ago
    I have been where you are. Prednisone is a hell of a drug and yes, it could be its fault you are up 7lbs. It can be the reason you are feeling helpless. This will pass. Drink lots of water and do the best you can over the next week. Big hugs
    1167 days ago
  • GAT174
    Pray it all works out
    1167 days ago
    Sorry this is going on....I know prednisone causes appetite = wt. Gain.
    I do hope things get resolved for you and you get to feeling better.. emoticon
    1167 days ago
    So sorry you are having a tough time. Hugs
    1167 days ago
    Sleep is restorative...if you can't lie down with cough, try recliner or many pillows. Be well soon!
    1167 days ago
    πŸ™‡ for your friend. Cancer is unspeakable. πŸ™‡for you. Please focus on getting well so you can tackle everything else when well. Chicken soup, lots of liquids to flush the meds out. If you can safely walk get up every hour or so & move around..sle
    1167 days ago
    Prednisone is the miracle drug from he!! lol. It not only makes you ravenous but also retain water. It not only makes me hungry, but the tension and desire to chew can be unreal! Try to really watch salt intake, and "gnaw" on raw veggies if up to it.
    1167 days ago
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