BEING REAL HERE. ADMITTING I'M RATHER STRUGGLING HERE. JUST NEEDING TO VENT RIGHT NOW.
Saturday, September 24, 2016
Struggling. I hate to even admit that. Just downright struggling. Been struggling since this dang Bronchitis set in over a week ago. Trying to stay positive and I know alot of the way I'm feeling right now is because between being on 2 different inhalers, PREDNISONE! 40 milligrams once again, two different antibiotics and COUGHING!!
Keep telling myself I'm not going back to where I came from, and believe me I'm not, but just feeling a little hopeless right now. Didn't go to my normal WI today cause I'd been weighed in at my doc's office on Thursday and am up 7 pounds, and I'm not blaming it on that Prednisone but me. I'm trying not to beat myself up. I'm trying to read all my past WW materials, which is where I've come from and where I have to admit will still continue to go to my meetings and my WI's but being here with so many of my awesome WW friends, well, losing our community is still something I'm rather struggling with.
Anyway, I don't want to depress or bore anyone any further but just wanted to put it out there I'm just hitting a few rough patches and just needed to vent. I know it could be a lot worse, but for me right now in my mind it is bad. Won't allow myself to get back over that 200lb mark, but dang!!!! Not being able to exercise, especially having hip replacement and feeling so encouraged and so much better having that nasty, old, painful hip replaced, I'd been doing so well. I know this shall pass. Just having a touch one. Struggling also with finding out this past week I have another friend, Lisa, who I've known for over 20 years is now in the hospital, struggling so hard to beat the cancer that has now spread into her bones has been something else I've been struggling with. The family has tried to keep it quiet and amongst themselves but her husband had just informed me this evening that it does not look good and I'm rather distraught, as I lost my very best childhood friend several years ago from breast cancer, and this as well is hitting me rather hard. I ate to comfort myself which I know is the WORST thing you can do. I've been at this long enough to know that the UGLY FOOD MONSTER, junk food junkie food monster isn't gonna make anything better or right. It's only gonna make things worse.
Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm rambling. I need to quit while I'm ahead. Tomorrow is another new day. Haven't been able to exercise due to the wheezing, which doc says should be getting under control by this weekend. I'm just feeling bummed. I'm just feeling sad. But I WILL NEVER GIVE UP, as I've done in the past.
All's I can do is pray for my friend Lisa, as I know she is in so much pain. I HATE CANCER!!! My issues with food is nothing like what she and her family are having to deal with at this time, so I have to stop feeling sorry for me and just keep on keeping on, taking my meds and getting myself well so I can deal with the rest of the stuff going on in my little world right now.
Life is life. I'm human. I'll be okay. Thanks for letting me vent. Amen