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Why I hate alcohol

Friday, September 16, 2016

Alcohol is such a remedy to stress and a doorway to good times for a lot of people. In moderation and with responsibility, that's fine. There is nothing wrong with that.

When you decline or politely let someone know you don't drink, June Cleaver probably pops into their mind and all the fun that was in your personality gets sucked out.

It's because they don't understand.

Alcohol to them is fun and exciting and a bandaid to put over life's stresses for a little while.
Alcohol in my eyes is destructive and a poison to an entire family unit.

My father is an alcoholic. He is a functional alcoholic. He pays his mortgage on time every month, goes to work every single day, and does everything that a responsible man is suppose to do. He has been an alcoholic for maybe 20 years or maybe just short of that.

Before he was an alcoholic, life was better. Less stressful. My parents moved into a neighborhood and the people were it ideal. There were other drinkers and my dad was influenced very easily and was wrapped up into that way of life in the blink of an eye. Make no mistake though, it was his responsibility for falling into that mess.

People often think of alcoholics as violent. Well, for my sisters and me, it was more humiliating. My sister will drive him places so he doesn't drive but I won't go out in public with him after he has been drinking. He might say something sexist or worse, racist OR JUST PLAIN STUPID! That is a bad reflection on the rest of us because that is not who we are at all.

As for being violent, believe it or not, that is more likely when he is sober. Not everyday, not every month or it does happen. When it happens it's EVERYONE else's fault.

Well, last night was horrible. There was an argument and I asked if everyone could let it go and have a peaceful night and he blew up. I had a ceramic lamb planter thrown at my head. It missed but that was MY planter. He says the reason he is an alcoholic is because he has a daughter like me. He also says I'm the devil's spawn amd the Devil's daughter. He isn't even that religious. He thinks he is so above people with drug addictions, he can't even see that he is addicted to a drug. Just because you drink your drug doesn't make it any less of a drug.

Other times, he is kind amd caring and it's like two different people. He's very critical. He feels nobody works as hard as he does. He has a hard and demanding job. His job is the sources of most of his stress. He has not received his raises and his coworkers come in late, leave early and just work life stress in general.

The problem is his stress gets taken out not on them but on us.

Well, thankfully it's not always like that. On Sunday, he will watch the race and drink himself into oblivion, 14 beers probably amd then just mumble words, fall asleep amd go to work on Monday like nothing. My mom said if he was more Godly and treated his family better, then he would get his raises but I'm not so sure.

Right now, I am stuck but it is why I am working on medical issues ans getting back to school. If you are wondering why people don't just leave, it's complicated. It seems simple but it's not amd most of it will boil down to financial reasons or lack of educational opportunity. Plus, not everyone has people willing to be supportive. Any rude or condescending comments about that will be deleted and you will be unfriended and that is something I never do so choose wisely.

When I was a teen, I never heard of Alanon (is that what it's called)? and just never really told anyone about the drunk in my family.

See, alcoholics drink their drug and it poisons everyone around them. They think it doesn't but it is just a delusional lie they tell themselves. Alcohol is destructive and I can't help but imagine what life would be like if it never entered the picture.

So, I deal with/death with an alcoholic, a mentally ill sister, a developmentally disabled aunt, a sick grandma, relatives who were verbally abusive and on top of it, I deal with PCOS, Hypothyroidism, Pain from one other mystery condition and is it any surprise, anxiety and depression.

All of that with basically no social support. I'm not boasting. I am sharing. I know there are people who go through a million times worse and am grateful and appreciative for the good. Sometimes, I do want a best friend to vent to and who can vent to me but at the same time so some o have fun with and fun to them is going to the airplane museum and not a club.

No wonder I struggle with weight.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    DH is an alcoholic. Sometimes he is in recovery sometimes not. Bad time now as he drank for one son's wedding in August and last week was drunk for other son's birthday. I went to AlAnon but didn't like it. One thing I will say, make this your mantra - I can't cure it, I didn't cause it, I can't control it. I had a therapist tell me everyone dances around the alcoholic.
    If you need to vent or talk, spark mail me
    949 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    I've known a lot of "functional alcoholics". You should read "The Diabetes Solution" by Richard Bernstein M.D. as he has a full chapter on PCOS, which he says is so common in young women who are obese and it is due to your hormones being off. I've learned so much from him. He has lectures on Youtube. He says all people who want to lose weight should be on Metformin even if they have a normal blood sugar reading. I got his book at the library.
    My son Nathan had Testicular Cancer seven years ago and had surgery and then 4 rounds of chemotherapy that took about six months since they found the cancer in his lymph nodes. He has remained cancer free since, but he goes to the local mental health for counseling sessions which only cost him $2 a session as it is on a sliding scale. Do find out where you facility is in your area and make use of it. It helps so much to talk to someone who understands what you are dealing with. DEAR ABBY also recommends ALA-NON which is a group for family members of an alcoholic. Talking with such a group could be helpful for you.
    Are you a Pisces? They are so often the "scapegoat" in the family, blamed for all the problems and the caretaker of all.
    950 days ago
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