Its been a long time gone....

Monday, September 05, 2016

well its been a long time. I thought I'd posted more recently. But I've been thru heyll and back but I'm strong.... and I am working to get thru all this.

So after my surgery - I was home for a while. I began working from home to ensure a paycheck. My husband had been without a job for a long time. One Saturday we went looking at recumbent trikes and things got strange - then violent. The short story is - he left. He left one day and said he was out looking for an apartment. So he left me and I was alone. Alone and recovering from a major surgery and illness. So I kept working until I couldn't stand it - went back to work (around April) Went thru a divorce. Mediation was scary but he didn't get much (some out of just luck and some because he had already taken so much, stolen so much) He or his attorney didn't even bother to show up at the final divorce part. I took myself. It was over.

I had to learn to be myself again. It wasn't easy. Its been a long road. emoticon
Trixie and I did our first walk together. It was a beautiful day. I felt quite strong after that. I was trying to get outa the house. Strangely I find myself content to stay home most weekends anyway. Old friends seemed to wander away - new coworkers made everything better. Funny when your coworkers are the ones that stood by you through it all. Family tends to leave. Yeah I know I have issues.

Trixie and I were trying to get walking in when it was cooler. THen I signed up for a 5k.

And I slipped on a tile on the road and busted by arsse! Down on the knee, and glasses hit the ground. I toughed it out tho despite the nice folks that stopped to help me... but I was a mess for a couple of weeks. I was hurt, I was upset at myself. I was alone.

I did find something I desperately wanted.. riding my bike was really hard. The meninjitis left me with a constant dizzy feeling. I lucked out ahd found a used recumbent trike on sale. My coworker and I drove out there and picked up my trike. I love it. I do not have to worry about falling over on my face. I can get it to fit in my car... so I'm hoping to find parks and or bike trails and start doing some cycling for exercise. I may even splurge and get some cycling shoes that will lock into the pedals so that your leg muscles get worked for evenly.

I haven't been eating too good. A. I never know what I want B. I find myself craving weird stuff. C. Itsa hard to cook for one person and then eating it before you get tired of eating it. I do know I need to start packing my lunch again. Lunch at work is really expensive.

Then I came home one day and found my little cat DOT had died. IT was horrible. She was my little baby. Of course I have others (lil orphaned kittens from the back yard) but I miss her so.

I finally started my crafty hobby up again. I got to go to a basic zentangle class (yes by myself) and had a great time! I'm working on this as well. I don't think I'm quite that steady as I was before... but its rather zen like.

So... I'm here. Bigger again... bigger than I even said I was going to be again. I'm at 213.

My sugars are wonky. But my food choices aren't the best. Lets be honest.

So I know what I need to do. I just need to get my rear in gear. I want to get back below 200 by NOvember. I do not wanna end my one year post divorce 13 lbs heavier. I just don't.

So if you wanna be buddies... I would appreciate the help. I'll do my best to help you too.

Much luv my friends.... thanks for giving me a place to vent... this is my healthy home.

.... and I need you now .....


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow you've been through a lot, but I would think you're stronger for it! Sorry your husband left you like that, all of a sudden AND while you were recovering. I remember you posting status updates about it. Remember we're here for you here on SP! emoticon
    1789 days ago
  • ELSCO55
    You have really hands stressful year, but it sounds like you are working through it. Keep up the good work.
    1789 days ago
    It's great to see a new post from ya!!! I've been riding w/the "social" group on Thurs night at local bike shop - John has diversified & these newfangled trikes are pretty awesome! For now I'm sticking w/Ajax, my ancient conventional road bike - $$$
    1789 days ago
    You are a warrior, and you are tough and strong!!!!! You will get through this with flying colors, my friend, and I am here rooting you on!!! If you need to vent, I am here!!! If you need to laugh, I am here!!! If you need to pray, I am here!!! God bless you, my friend! You have not lost, you are a WINNER!!!!!!!!!
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    1789 days ago
    It was so good to hear from you, though it sounds like you have really had a rough time. I think it sounds like you are over the hump now and on your way back to a good life. I'm sorriest about the loss of your kitty. Too much with everything else you had to deal with but you are strong and are building a new life which sounds really interesting. Make some small goals and build on them and then add others. You can do this.
    1789 days ago
    Ok.......this is really strange to me. I haven't been on SP for like----694 days. No joke. And here I am today, and here YOU are today---providence, my dear!

    I know you've had "a year" (I am sure SP still disallows profanity! Lol) that I have seen here and there through FB. But I'm giving you a standing ovation for coming back--many people that got dealt the hand you received would have curled up in the fetal position and gone to a bad place, and even if you had glimpses into that darkness, you're back here in the light--spreading your SPARK!

    Your bike is AHHHHMAZING! I have always wanted one of those! What size shoe do you wear? I have a pair of bike shoes that I used when I was in Houston and going to they gym/spinning, but now I'm out in the Hill Country and have a 25+ minute drive to the gym...and, my neighborhood has a pretty rocking work-out room, so I haven't had to use them. They are totally yours if they fit. They are bright blue, but whatever--you can rock that! :-P

    Maybe pick one thing to focus on--pack your lunch. It doesn't have to be fancy, grab a couple bags of salad, grilled chicken breasts, maybe some healthy fats like almonds or avocado. Get that nailed down. Prep on the weekends. That way you're saving calories AND money. Money you can use for new Zentangle supplies! (Zentangle is fun!)

    Watch that sugar intake and keep that positive mindset....if you can get through and rock everything you've had to endure (and are better and stronger for it) then you can get those sugar cravings under control.

    I'm here for you! emoticon
    1789 days ago
  • OASIS1223
    That's an incredibly tough year and self-care is so important! I'm here to support you if you'd like it!
    1789 days ago
    Oh my goodness, you really have had a time of it.

    First my congratulations: You survived! You made good choices for yourself in getting to work and finding ways to take care of yourself (the trike) and activities to help you reconnect with people outside your work (coworkers can be great but there are limits there). And believe it or not, it sounds as though you have been working your way through the stages of grief and letting go of the past that are necessary to. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!

    Second,my sympathy that you had to go through all that. You said it all came down in November, so look at the wonderful Thanksgiving you will have this year - how many things to be thankful for.

    I'm sure you will have a lot of support here on Spark. And let me be the first to say you can always call on me. My Spark page is there but is public. The SparkMail is always there and it is private. I've been through divorce, though not with the unexpected jolt you had. And I have healed so I have lots of love and experience I can offer without any "load" of my own. And if someone else fits you better, I will cheer for you - no hurt feelings.

    Love and best wishes to you as you move forward.
    1789 days ago
    Wishing you success on all fronts. So glad you are here where there is so much encouragement and support. Enjoy that bike. Looks like such fun and good exercise, too!
    1789 days ago
    You have been thru a lot and still managed to survive and thive. You can do this. Good luck, l am here,for you.
    1789 days ago
    That's tough all round. But isn't it great that you found the recumbent bike you needed? Remember baby steps - and not too many at a time.
    When I found myself in a similar position, left on my own and wondering what to cook, I got a freezer and a microwave (it was a long time ago now). I cooked normal-size meals, portioned them and froze the ones I didn't eat. Could you do that? It solves that problem of what to do with three quarters of an onion.
    1789 days ago
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