well its been a long time. I thought I'd posted more recently. But I've been thru heyll and back but I'm strong.... and I am working to get thru all this.
So after my surgery - I was home for a while. I began working from home to ensure a paycheck. My husband had been without a job for a long time. One Saturday we went looking at recumbent trikes and things got strange - then violent. The short story is - he left. He left one day and said he was out looking for an apartment. So he left me and I was alone. Alone and recovering from a major surgery and illness. So I kept working until I couldn't stand it - went back to work (around April) Went thru a divorce. Mediation was scary but he didn't get much (some out of just luck and some because he had already taken so much, stolen so much) He or his attorney didn't even bother to show up at the final divorce part. I took myself. It was over.
I had to learn to be myself again. It wasn't easy. Its been a long road.
Trixie and I did our first walk together. It was a beautiful day. I felt quite strong after that. I was trying to get outa the house. Strangely I find myself content to stay home most weekends anyway. Old friends seemed to wander away - new coworkers made everything better. Funny when your coworkers are the ones that stood by you through it all. Family tends to leave. Yeah I know I have issues.
Trixie and I were trying to get walking in when it was cooler. THen I signed up for a 5k.
And I slipped on a tile on the road and busted by arsse! Down on the knee, and glasses hit the ground. I toughed it out tho despite the nice folks that stopped to help me... but I was a mess for a couple of weeks. I was hurt, I was upset at myself. I was alone.
I did find something I desperately wanted.. riding my bike was really hard. The meninjitis left me with a constant dizzy feeling. I lucked out ahd found a used recumbent trike on sale. My coworker and I drove out there and picked up my trike. I love it. I do not have to worry about falling over on my face. I can get it to fit in my car... so I'm hoping to find parks and or bike trails and start doing some cycling for exercise. I may even splurge and get some cycling shoes that will lock into the pedals so that your leg muscles get worked for evenly.
I haven't been eating too good. A. I never know what I want B. I find myself craving weird stuff. C. Itsa hard to cook for one person and then eating it before you get tired of eating it. I do know I need to start packing my lunch again. Lunch at work is really expensive.
Then I came home one day and found my little cat DOT had died. IT was horrible. She was my little baby. Of course I have others (lil orphaned kittens from the back yard) but I miss her so.
I finally started my crafty hobby up again. I got to go to a basic zentangle class (yes by myself) and had a great time!
I'm working on this as well. I don't think I'm quite that steady as I was before... but its rather zen like.
So... I'm here. Bigger again... bigger than I even said I was going to be again. I'm at 213.
My sugars are wonky. But my food choices aren't the best. Lets be honest.
So I know what I need to do. I just need to get my rear in gear. I want to get back below 200 by NOvember. I do not wanna end my one year post divorce 13 lbs heavier. I just don't.
So if you wanna be buddies... I would appreciate the help. I'll do my best to help you too.
Much luv my friends.... thanks for giving me a place to vent... this is my healthy home.
.... and I need you now .....