My Daughter's Cancer Saga
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Written by my DD
A lot can change in a year
So, my friends have pointed out repeatedly over the course of the last two weeks.
For example, when I was visiting one of my friends the other afternoon and he handed me a Striped Zebra Cake. You know, those little cakes that are sold in packages of two, white cakes with chocolate stripes. At first I started to say, “No, thank you, I shouldn’t because of my…” and I stopped mid sentence and looked at him and took the cake. The end of that sentence was going to be because of my tumor. My friend looked at me and said “What were you going to say?” I told him, and he said, “But you don’t have cancer anymore, so you can eat whatever you want now.” I smiled and took a bite, man it was sweet!
We sat there and ate our snack and he asked me why I didn’t eat sugar and I explained to him that cancer thrives on sugar. He was shocked. He asked me “Why don’t the doctor’s tell you these things? These are important things to know if you are taking chemotherapy, going through radiation and surgery. They should tell you to change your diet.” I smiled at him. He was getting very frustrated. He is the type of man that has very set lines of right and wrong. I told him, “They do. Most people don’t hear it. Most people are in shock of hearing they have cancer, and the doctors are aware of that. Most people are not willing to make drastic changes in their overall eating and lifestyle to do anything and everything in their power in combination with medicine, and faith to turn their health around.” He looked at me and smiled patted my hand, with tears in his tough eyes and said, “I’m glad you did”, “me too” I replied. I am not going to make a habit out of eating Zebra Cakes, but it was a sweet reminder that life has taken a turn for the better.
Another example was a picture that my friend posted on Facebook from last year when I went to Provincetown, MA. It was on my bucketlist of things to do and my friend Jean Wnuk made it happen for me. I really wanted to see what it was all about. I wanted to feel that energy. I needed that energy. I was soooooo sick at the time. I was really bad to be honest. Grossness upon grossness. I was taking everything I could to hold everything in. Got the picture. I was sick. But, I went. My friend, Maura picked me up and she drove us down together with my other friend Rose, and my little dog Henry. I don’t leave without Henry. We are a package deal. We made more pit stops for me than for the dog.
The positive energy in Ptown was amazing. Absolutely amazing. It is felt everywhere. You can feel it in the car, my brain was super foggy, so I don’t remember the exact location where I began to feel it, but it was there, so strong! If you haven’t been, you simply must go. Trust me on this. Amazing love is there and it is healing! We were there during Carnivale Week and the theme was CandyLand. I am not part of the LGBTQ community, but the acceptance for who you are regardless of what you are is the best thing ever, especially when you are bald, bloated from steroids, sick as a dog and not sure if you are going to live. Love heals.
and this year….
Curly topped, wild gypsy hair and I don’t care! I didn’t go to P-town this year, but I still have my shirt!
Cindy in chair
Sitting in one of my favorite spots writing to all of you! Yes, a lot has changed in a year. No, it was not always easy, or joyful. Some of it was lonely and painful to be truthful. When my friend first posted the picture of me from a year ago, I was out with a friend and had just gone to my car. I don’t check my phone when with friends, that would be rude, that is another thought process altogether. I saw it and cried immediately. My first emotion was “God, I love you Woman!” and I said it out loud, and then I started singing to that picture, “Talkin bout my baby, she’s some kind of wonderful, Oh yes she is! She’s some kind of wonderful!” I looked at the picture and said “We’ve been to hell and back and there is nothing I won’t do for you, let’s go home and walk Henry.” I would never wish this on anyone. Ever. But, if it took this to get me to where I am now, so be it.
Everyday is a gift, open it up with joy and love for yourself and those that you are fortunate enough to have in your life. Cherish your day, don’t wish it away, find the beauty and goodness in where you are in this moment right now.
Enjoy life’s sweetness.
And Now: My Response to her:
Talk abut “automatic response”! As you first mentioned the Zebra Cake (I didn’t know what it is, either), my first thought was “Oh, Baby. Don’t be tempted!”. But then the reality of you not having cancer now came in, and the tears started to flow around my smile.
I am happy to know that you have such wonderful memories of P-Town and will some day return to the celebration of what goes on there, if you want to. Heck! You could probably even drive yourself there!
Watching your journey through the darkness has made me a better person. I am more grateful, more content with Life on Life’s Terms.
I am eternally grateful to have you as my daughter!
But perhaps even more, I am grateful to know you as a WOMAN. You have taught me so very much during this hellacious year and a half about the true meaning of the word “COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN”.
Honestly, I didn’t think you would survive the cancer. But I watched you ACCEPT the disease, and decided to fight it. Your research and determination was unbending.
Yes, it takes Spiritual Power to perform miracles, but now I know that Spiritual Power NEEDS our co-operation to the max.
You performed your own miracle through your diet, life style, exercise, sage, meditation, change of life beliefs, and adventurous to try ANYTHING that might work to rid yourself of your disease. And you did this without the ‘approval” of your old friends.
I bring to mind your research and usage of medical marijuana (which our lovely brain-dead government says there is no such thing as medical marijuana and are keeping it against Federal law………STUPIDLY!!!!) AND FINDING THE CORRECT STRAIN FOR YOUR TYPE OF CANCER. I know that took a huge amount of research on your part!!!
We learned that Big Pharm has a choke hold on our medical community, which is shameful as well as terribly saddening. It is more and more apparent that if we had government OUT OF OUR LIVES, we would all be much happier and healthier!
Despite all the odds being against you, you stayed the course. And look at you NOW!!!
I admire you most highly, and love you even more,