Saturday, August 20, 2016
I am doing the weekend warrior challenge on Fitbit. I have done 15,000 steps today and 105 minutes of exercise and burned over 500 calories.
I have been doing really well with my eating. It has been helpful that we are eating at home more.
Whatever we did in Pilates and the exercises she told me to do at home are working. My shoulder feels good. I still think I will go to the doctor on Monday at see what the MRI says or maybe I should wait to make sure the Pilates keeps working. I'm not sure. I will have to think about that one.
The thing I am having the hardest time with is all of a sudden my cravings to smoke came back. I don't know if it is because my son is a smoker now or I just have a lot going on. I never smoke more than 2 cigarettes in a day and I don't want to. I just have to keep that at bay. Tonight when I got the craving, I did another 35 minutes of Walk it Out. I guess all I can do is take it one day at a time like with everything else. I asked my son to quit with me, but he won't. As a matter of fact, he buys the cigarettes for me and every pack he has brought me, I haven't liked and given to him. I don't even like it so I can't figure out why I am doing it. I think it is just boredom when I am in the house all day. When we have showings at night or are out until later, I have no problem. UGH! So frustrating!!! I quit January 1, 2010.
If I am going to be honest, I know why the cravings came back. There is a ton of stuff going on aside from my shoulder. There is no one I can talk to about it. NO it is nothing like I am going to kill myself or am ill or anything like that. It is more about the fact that as much as my husband and I spend time together, it seems like the only thing we have in common anymore or talk about is our real estate business. I try to talk to him and get no where because he doesn't see it. I wouldn't be surprised at all if he is on the spectrum like my son. They are so identical. I don't know. I guess I am just not happy. We also have a ton of bills and that makes me worried as that is always dumped on me as well with him saying, "we have to sell more houses." Great. I'm trying. He has a job as well and he can sell houses just as much as I can. Unfortunately, he is not as good with the buyers.
Further, he doesn't listen to me. My opinion never matters. He just treats me like I'm stupid. I don't think he means to. When I point it out to him, he just gets mad and says that I don't want to value his opinion and we keep going in circles, but getting no where. This is sort of the same thing he does when we show houses. He doesn't listen to the buyer. He explains what needs to be done to the houses, but he doesn't ever let the buyer speak. I think that is getting me really frustrated. He has been with me enough years doing this that he should be able to sell a house. If something happens to me, there goes the business.