Moving In and Feeling Blue
Tuesday, August 02, 2016
The last week has been a little strange. Last night I spent the first night at my new home. I really love being in my own place but I can tell all of this moving has impacted my little guys. The house is small but lovely, really working hard to make it into a lovely place for the kids. Hoping to not move again unless it is a forever home.
Yesterday two more of my sons went back to Oklahoma. There are only five of us in the house now. In some ways that is very good, I was getting quite worn out with so many home, but of course I will miss them all terribly.
My son has had many appointments over the last few weeks, the paperwork has been insane. Some days I really hate autism. Today we have physical therapy and then I have to go for fillings, yuck. I don't expect this appointment to go well, he doesn't like to be touched. We will just have to push through it.
This week is going to be a bit busy, but nothing too bad. I am not returning to work for the first time in almost twenty years, it feels so strange. There is plenty to do, I still have more unpacking but the house is coming together nicely. The kids appointments will keep me busy and it is nice to be able to focus on them. I know I will at least need to start working part-time soon for financial reasons, I get scared about money pretty easily. My husband wants me to stay home full-time, that is a huge luxury considering our finances. I don't think it is feasible right now. We will have to find some balance. Speaking of balance, still having major hormonal issues, which makes everything feel devastating and overwhelming. I see a doctor on the 17th and my guess is despite being my age, starting menopause, they will put me on birth control to try and regulate everything. This all kind of sucks because I normally feel like I can take on the world and now everything feels just kind of impossible.
As for my weightloss journey, it pretty much has been non-existent this last week. I stopped tracking, exercising, everything. I have been really sick, some kind of head cold, no sleep due to little guys and sickness, and moving in. I am hoping I did not gain because I have been on my feet moving and cleaning like a madwoman. I will know on Thursday I guess. I wanted to come on here today and just find myself again. I know you can always regroup, and I need to do exactly that. I need to work on staying in the moment and not living in fear of what is to come. I think the best thing for me to do is write here each day, just to help remain focused.
Have a happy Tuesday,